Good lord it's hot outside

Oy Vey,
Did I spell that correctly? Let's hope so lest I piss someone off. Life is just about too crazy to try and sum up these days. Yes folks, the mistress is having one hell of a shit storm. But that's what life is right? Right!

So, not going to cry about it at the moment. Just going to sit here and blog about this and that. Like the fact that this idiotic tab key is refusing to cooperate unless I pound the ever-living-love out of it. It's like it wants to be beaten. Not that there's anything wrong with that. If you're a PERSON. But this is an expensive piece of equipment and I prefer not to beat it into submission. Catch my drift?

The garden is at least twice the size of last year. And you know how my attention wained last year round this time. Well... the garden is my happy place. I wander around the veggies and the fruit and I train the tender vines and somehow life has order and all is right in the world. And for a couple of hours each day I can breath and be calm. It's some pretty therapeutic shit... I'm telling you. Don't have time for therapy? Get yourself a garden. Unless of course you hate getting dirty, can't stand bugs, or have issues with prickly things. Then you'd pretty much suck at the whole gardening thing.

The baby business is going. We have our busy days as this is definitely our busy time of year. But we are a business after all and somehow beautiful things always have to be turned into businesses. Can you understand what I'm saying here? Let's just say that some days my work haven stresses me out to no end. But... I guess the rest of you are rolling your eyes and patting me on the back... telling me to join the club. No more bitching... it wears me out;)

My little monkey butts are getting so big! Taryn just had her 4th birthday! Can you believe it? My youngest is 4! My oldest will be in 3rd grade this year and my middle guy will be in kindergarten. Kind of crazy to see how quickly they're all coming in to their own. It's very rewarding these days. I've started writing down some of the more insane things that come out of their mouths... for example "No testicles for dinner tonight"... that's one of my personal favorites. As if we've every had testicles for dinner! Now liver, hearts, and giblets are one thing... but TESTICLES... that's just cruel;)

For those of you who keep up with miss Salti's blog she's better about writing about my life and the kids than I am. Then again that pretty much sums up our entire life/friendship together=) It's a handy thing.

Alright then you crazy beautiful people. Be good to each other. I know you won't do it because you misbehave constantly but before you go to bed I want to you think of 5 things you're thankful for.

If you feel inclined leave me a comment and let me know what they are=)
Auri

Easter Bunnies, Three Headed Beasts, and ME!

Taryn is currently running around singing "Girls have a vagina, like meeeee. And boys have a penis like Daddy and TT and Aidaaaaan." How am I supposed to think of anything to blog about when she's so freaking hilarious!? I ask you?

I know I promised pictures... but do you think I've gotten them developed yet... nope. Just say it... I know I'm a slacker. You'll be pleased to know that I have been taking them though=) That's got to count for something!
Tip #1 for attempting to restart your bloggy life: Don't try to write a post while your 3 children are awake and vying for your attention. Can you spell c-o-u-n-t-e-r-p-r-o-d-u-c-t-i-v-e? Well I can and it comes in the form of a three headed beast. One that hangs on your arm, the other that screams in your ear, and the third that's tearing apart your house while the other two attempt to drive you mad. I haven't lost my temper today. You should be proud.

So... what kind of food do you think I should serve at a toy party... pigs in a blanket, spotted dick, melons, or should I just stick to something a little less obvious like... Sushi! No? You're no fun I tell you! Fine... I'll keep it on the up and up... but only because you've made me!
Guess what I did today? (you're way off... stop while you're ahead)
#1... Started by taking the hubby to work with the kids (because we're a one car family and I had shit to do today). He's a ray of sunshine in the morning... let me tell ya! I figure I'm just lucky that he didn't start spouting fire from his nostrils in the car.
#2... Took said kids grocery shopping in their jammies because this is Utah and we're cool with things like that (thank god)


#3... Got the little hellraisers ready and took them BACK to dad's work for the Easter Egg hunt... because as my friend Sara says "The Easter Bunny comes on Saturday so Jesus can come on Sunday"... I don't know why but that little saying makes me want to laugh hysterically. They had lots of fun... got a shitload of candy which is already gone... and are now all bouncing around the house complaining that their stomachs hurt=( Oh the rough life...

#4... Began a whole tray of peat moss seed starters which I planted with fine grade pot. (no not really) I actually planted spearmint and if you've ever planted spearmint you'll know that I'm not lying when I tell you I had to plant the seeds with a pair of tweezers. I'm a little surprised how focused I was considering I worked last night and still hadn't slept at this point. I'll be sure to take pics of my little lovelies... (which you'll probably never see unless I get my ass moving and develop some damn film!)

#5... Took a delightful nap with daughter Taryn. Or at least I slept... remember that three headed beast... the one that tears your house down around you?... pretty sure that was her while I was sleeping. My children are devious and lovely all in the same breath. Wherever do they get it?

#6... Sat myself down here at ye' ole' laptop to write to all of you.

So there.
Time to make some dinner... wanna come over? I'll wear my cute green flowery apron and I promise to find something to do with the spatula.

Yours Always,
Mistress A

We love you Mikey... oh yes we do...

We've been watching Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe for a long time around our house and I just realized that I've never actually posted about him. Shame. Forgive me. So... in honor of my first post about the beloved Mike Rowe and this fantastic show I thought I would pick a clip that not only shows the beauty of what Mike gets to do but also combines a little of what I get to do (okay, that's a bit of a stretch... but you'll see what I mean).

There's nothing better than a well educated man with a sense of humor that doesn't mind getting dirty who cleans up well afterward. Scrumptious! The kids were referring to him as 'Mommy's guy' for a while because we watched the show so much... that kind of pissed my husband off a little. I had to have a talk with the kids about only calling Mike Rowe that when daddy was at work... otherwise daddy might not be so happy about us watching Dirty Jobs so often. The kids were very understanding. I now get them to help out with jobs around the house by starting out with "this is just like that job that Mike Rowe does on Dirty Jobs!" It works every time!


And as for the sweet male farmer commenting on whether or not the cow felt pain or not...

HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN BIRTH MY FRIEND? BECAUSE NO AMOUNT OF ENDORPHINS, NATURAL OR MAN MADE CAN DULL THAT PAIN UNLESS YOU HAVE AN EPIDURAL!

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. I know he was only trying to seem like he knew how the cow felt. But did she look like she was having a good time? Did you see the way she was mooing? I'm no cow whisperer... but I'd like to think that giving birth as a mammal is a pretty universal experience. Just saying.

By the way... a month or so ago my patient's dad offered to have me come and help out with the calving season on their ranch. I wanted to go do it so badly! Couldn't you just see me?! A cow midwife=) All dressed up in my Dickie's, hair in a little bandanna, and just about as happy as a pig in shit! Too bad I never got his phone number. That would have been a blast!

Anyway. Hope you're not too badly damaged by the video. I know how the picture of the placenta affected some of you (snicker, snicker).

"Now let's get ready, to get dirty!"

I dig my cool kids and their kick ass names

I'm rarely the one who posts about my kids. It's usually Ms. Salti or my dad. But I thought I'd give you a little interesting history on their names. Plenty to find on Tristan and Aidan but once history got around to Taryn it appears every culture just grabbed hold and made up a definition of their own. Which oddly enough describes her moods exactly. Good for her I say!

• S: (n) Tristan, Tristram ((Middle Ages) the nephew of the king of Cornwall who (according to legend) fell in love with his uncle's bride (Iseult) after they mistakenly drank a love potion that left them eternally in love with each other)
• Tristan is a 1903 novella by German writer Thomas Mann. It contains many references to the myth of Tristan and Iseult. The novella alludes in particular to the version presented in Richard Wagner's opera of the same name. As such, it can be seen as an ironic paraphrase, juxtaposing the romantic heroism of Wagner's characters with their essentially flawed counterparts in the novella^{[citation needed]}. It also heavily deals with psychology and a major part of the novel is set in a sanatorium and details the lives of two people who are patients at the sanatorium.
• Tristan is a six-movement orchestral work by the German composer Hans Werner Henze.

• Tristan or Tristram is a given name of Celtic origin. It is derived from the Brythonic name Drust or Drustanus, and became popularized through the character of Tristan, one of the Knights of the Round Table in Arthurian legend. The modern form is most likely influenced by the Latin word tristis, meaning "sad" or "sorrowful".

• Anglicized form of Irish saints' name Aodhán, diminutive of Aodh "fire", name of a Celtic sun god.

• Aidan is a Gaelic name, a diminutive of Aodh and usually translated into English as "the little fiery one" or similar. Formerly common only in Ireland, the name (together with variants) has become extremely popular in the United Kingdom and United States of America. Aidan is currently the 54th most popular name in the United States since the start of the year 2000 (damn them... I named him first!! of course).
  

(subsequently he is absolutely a fiery one... as is the other one we know... I blame it on the name)

• Taryn- Russian term for frozen ground that lasts for more than one season.
• Blend of Tara with Erin, Karen, Terry and the male name Darren.
• Tender/Innocent in Scots-Gaelic
• Rocky Hill in Irish-Gaelic
• Thunder in Norse Celtic
• Of the Earth in Latin
• The Reaper in Greek
• Wild goat in Hebrew

etc. etc. etc. (I kid you not, there's a different definition for every culture and region... I thought I'd stop here).

Thanks to Wikipedia and a couple of other definition sites on google for this post. I'm not patient enough to come up with this on my own... ctrl-V and ctrl-C are my life blood.

Do you all like how I slipped in cute pix of my kids and made it seem like I was being educational at the same time? I'm tricky like that...

And if you're new to my blog... yes, I often switch from topics like dildos one post to children the next... and everything in between... it's just how we roll round these parts.

The Amazing, Tantalizing, Infuriating, Liberating, Vibrating, Flying Dildo... (as promised)

Okay... so I'm just warning you before you start this one... this is a true 'Mistress Auri' type of post. You'll be hearing lots of grown up words (as we call them in our house) and experiencing a very personal story from yours truly.

Duh.

Now that that's out of the way!
LET'S GET ON WITH THE GOOD SHIT!

You need a little history to appreciate my husband and I in the bedroom. We have a great sex life. My interests have changed over the years as far as foreplay are concerned but I've always remained open with him and communicated what I've needed
You should be impressed...

So... the only time I like him using his fingers for a little pre game warm up are when a) I'm drunk or b) I'm already warmed up. He knows this!

So... I wake up to him asking me to take the oldest to school because he's tired (and I'm not apparently)... okay fine... I'll be good because I want sex.
I come home and he's still sleeping (although in his defense he has folded a load of laundry in my absence...good man).

I climb into bed and the two youngest come down and knock on the door because they're hungry (I am slowly getting less and less interested in sex)

I get up from bed and figure I'll give them food... after all, that will buy us and extra 10 minutes and that means we may get to start of with a little oral sex for me... which is a fab way to start off the morning! (but again... why haven't they eaten in my absence? another unanswered question.)

Kids fed... but then my annoying female brain notices that the washing machine isn't going (I know... believe me... I'm annoying myself by now) and I start to get a little irritated that hubby didn't throw a load in when he took the other load out... because...

DUH...

THAT'S WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE!

on to the dildo part...

I get back into bed... slip out of the robe. He's out of his clothes now too and what does he do?! He sticks his hand right between my legs! SORRY! I'm just not a light switch... I have more than two functions!

So I pull away a bit and he gets pissed off. He asks what I want (so thoughtful of him!)... to which I gracefully reply with the tone of a trucker in heat...
"get on top of me"

Well apparently that's when the shit hit the fan folks! Because at that moment... He jumped up out of bed and stormed off into the closet.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Sitting there naked contemplating what just happened...
out of nowhere...

a large, flesh colored, veiny, supple, dildo comes flying out of the walk-in closet towards me on the bed narrowly missing my head as my husband is exclaiming
"Here! Use this! It's obvious you just want a dick to rub up against anyway!"

Well excuse the flying (dildo) fuck out of me!! I gathered the sheets up around me... slightly amused (thought I'd never admit that to him), horrified, pissed beyond recognition, and grabbed the very perfect (yes ladies... very perfect) dildo firmly in my right hand, gripped tightly and screamed and the top of my lungs... "That was rude! Don't you ever fucking do that again!" And with an extra squeeze to my good buddy whom I don't normally throw anywhere... I tossed that sonofabitch back into the closet with the intention of seriously maiming anyone/thing that it came in contact with. I'm sure that I'll be getting a call from the fast pitch coach any day now... they had to have heard that pitch at least 50 miles away.

Well... what came after is neither very exciting... nor really any of your business...
(yet somehow that all was... )
Suffice it to say that I am sitting here with my fab hubby writing this and I told him that I would be.
He though it was a lovely idea...

To bring the story back around. I went back in the closet later that day to collect my large friend and put him back in his house... couldn't find him. Didn't feel like asking hubby where he was yet. Oh well... I'd find him someday (or someone would...)

YAH...

YESTERDAY!
Sitting there folding laundry on the bed with the entire family... my middle guy, Aidan, comes walking up to the bed from the closet holding what?

OH LORD... NO... PLEASE...

Yes... just when you thought the story couldn't get any worse. He found it. He was swinging it around. He's like "what's this guys"... with a completely straight face my hub was like "it's a fake penis... what's it look like."

Now he won't stop asking about the thing. I paid $70 god damned for that thing and now after one awful week of bad luck with it I don't think I'll touch it again...

I need a nap

And maybe some Xanax

Fucking Fab (They're referring to me in case you were wondering)

Thanks Ms. Salti! Okay... so I really do like getting bloggy awards... who doesn't. I guess for this one I need to list 5 things I'm obsessed with. And although I've just said I'm not obsessed with anything I guess technically that's not true...
Here we go...

The Naughty Monkies... Did you know that every time Taryn gets her hair washed now she wants me to take a picture. The child is a star. Too bad Hollywood is so far away... or too good depending on your views on child actors. I'm obsessed with my kids. They give me crazy anxiety but I can't imagine life without them. They're crazy cool. I love 'em!

Yes... I am a Twilight Fan. And yes, I just capitalized fan... deal. Very, very, very excited for the movie to come out. I don't know if I'll put up with the midnight screaming teenage girl crowds the night it comes out. But I will definitely go to see it at least once in the theater=) And I'm with Ms. Salti... the book was much better the second time through when you weren't rushing through to get to the end!

You could say I'm obsessed with my hubby. In a very healthy most of the time/ unhealthy once in a while sort of way. Hey, we're not all perfect! We do try. Even when we're having a rough time I miss him when he's not around. I crave his company and his touch.

Two more things... this is harder than I though and I don't have any more visual aids...
(will they continue reading?)

AHA!
Thanks to the miracle of modern technology I can now show you my next obsession...
Ms. Salti. I know. Some of you who are new to our little world might think that's a really strange thing to say. But let's put it this way... she's my other other half, my heterosexual life partner (HLP) so duh! of course I'm obsessed. I just consider myself lucky to get the things I'm obsessed with.

And last but not least...

My crackberry...
yes, the damned dirty ape. Just kidding booboo kitty shitz. Mommy loves you. Even though I drop you every time I get out of the car. I know! Grr! What did I do before texting?! Who knows. Love the crackberry... If you don't have one I'm just warning you now... they're a pain in the ass to get used to but once you do...

YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

Deer Cupcake Award

The Rules:
Respond and rework.
Answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention, and add one additional question.

What is your current obsession? I think I'm getting rid of this question because I'm so lame right now that I don't feel like I'm obsessed with anything cool or worthy of being obsessed with.

Where are you right now? I am sitting on the love seat in my front room with my feet propped up on a pillow, several pillows behind my back, in Salt Lake City, Utah in the US (specific enough?)

Do you nap a lot? I take offense to this =) I used to nap a lot! I nap more than Erica and less than my almost 3 year old. I love naps... mmmm... it's the Leo in me.

What's one of your favorite movies? Mystery, Alaska will always be one of my favorite movies. Although you all have to realize that I have at least a hundred 'favorite' movies depending on the genre and the day. If you haven't seen Mystery, Alaska it's great.

What's one thing you're looking forward to? Being out of debt. I know there will be some form of debt around at one point or another... but the kind of debt we're in now is just unhealthy. It could be much worse though... I'm being positive (small voice in head is sinking)

Who was your childhood crush? Childhood Crush? Or first love... kind of the same thing for me... James Jones. Still good friends with the fam.

What is your current favorite Song? All American Rejects "The Wind Blows"... it's on the playlist on my blog if you want to check it out. I love it. Not often I fall head over heels for a song the first time I hear it but I definitely fell hard for this one. Like "Come Undone" by Duran Duran... same kind of thing!

What would you like to get rid of? Can't be redundant or I would say my debt... so I guess I would say the distance between my mom and I. We've always been in the same city and now she lives 11 hours away! Too Far! A girl needs her mother... especially this girl...

What in life are you waiting on? I think I'm waiting on life to get easier. I'm constantly thankful for what I have but I always find myself wondering when things are going to ease up a bit. It's a never ending wave these days. But like I said earlier... it could be worse!

What is your favorite thing to do on a weekend night? Toes with Tata (aka Ms. Salti) =) Especially if we have ice cream at cold stone and do toes!

Why did you start your blog? I used to write a lot before I had kids. Before I started blogging I started feeling like I had lost a lot of my creative drive with writing, music, etc. and I felt like blogging was a good way to express that again. A positive outlet for me as well as a way to get feedback from my friends.

If money was not an issue, what is one thing you would purchase for yourself? An Island resort (hey, money's not an issue, right)

What is your best feature? I like my eyes. Always have. No matter how I feel about the rest of me... I'm always having a good eye day=)

I broke my arm and all I got was this lousy splint!

I'm sitting here on the love-seat at 1100 this morning just browsing the web and the kids start their favorite activity of stair sledding, aka sleeping bag derby, aka the death slide. They get in a rayon mummy bag and slide down the stairs. They have a blast and I'm trying not to be overbearing so I let them do it. Anyway Taryn takes a turn and as soon as she gets to the bottom she starts crying.
She seemed pretty sincere so I held onto her for a while until she was ready for a nap and thought she would either sleep it off or wake up still in pain...
Yah, she woke up wailing so we went to the KidsCare.
Now she has a sassy splint and we'll have to wait until tomorrow for the radiologist to read the x-rays and determine whether or not it's broken.

Well... all in all she was pretty good for the staff. Aidan kept telling the nurse about his 'nuts' (lord, what did I do?) but Taryn just sat there like a champ while they made her splint. She's mostly smiles now. A little sleepy (but then again I'm a little sleepy too).
We'll see what tomorrow brings...

I'm GUILTY...Put me in hancuffs...

Yah... I'm feeling a little guilty tonight. No, I'm not trying to win the popularity contest like my dad always says. It's just that I was really frustrated at work the other day so I vented about it this morning and now I feel like I just unloaded all of my shit onto everyone else.
oops.
Kind of icky. Yah. Well. Like the girls say above. Networking, right!? I'll be better about that... next time... at least you all forgive me.

So. I do love work though. Lots of babies being born lately. Tis the season. Spring and all. After a long day today I go back in tomorrow evening and then back the day after to teach a neonatal resuscitation course... so I guess I should go to sleep now. I just realized it's almost midnight.

Have been doing a little research on migraines and medications. I'm a little sick of feeling like a ditz on this medication I'm taking right now... go figure. Plus it makes my fingers numb (which is a pain in the ass for my patients when I'm trying to start their IV) so I need to switch meds.

My daughter informed me today that her 'gina' pronounced with a long i is "pretty cool" and she thinks she'll keep it. Thank God. I was worried she'd trade it in for a while. Whew.
I had to threaten the boys with separate baths tonight. We had to have the whole "we call them 'privates' because you don't touch any one else's but your own" speech tonight like 53 times and I'd just about had enough. The allure is strong. For the love of all things holy kids... keep your freaking hands to yourself!!! It's an uphill battle.
Anyway.
Bath time ended well. The children are alive and asleep. Tristan and I stayed up and enjoyed the chapter in Harry Potter about Felix Felicis (the potion that brings good luck) and I dig all the questions that he asks this time around! He's crazy smart.
Tomorrow we go to Costco to get his glasses!!! They were actually in Saturday but I'm a bad mother and waited this long to pick them up. yah..oh well.
alright... I'm going to bed.

A little Earth Day fun at the Galavan Center

Sometimes I can be such a dud. Erica (Miss Salti) asked me last week if I wanted to go to a free concert at the Galavan center on Wednesday and I was like "I don't think so... we've got a lot of housework to catch up on". I'm boring, I know ...
Anyway... Wednesday night rolls around and she text me again to see if I'd changed my mind so I asked Trent what he thought because we actually finished folding the mountains of laundry that covered the the surface of our humble queen bed. He asked what time it was at and before I could get the words out of my mouth Aidan wanted to know if he could go wherever I was going. It was pretty much decided at that point.
So, we decided that just I would go with Aidan. I went down and asked my dad if he'd like to be let out of confinement for the evening on 'good behavior' since he'd been such a good boy lately and brought lots of good treats home for the family=) For those of you confused right now... my dad lives with us and I give him a hard time because he spends a lot of time in his room in the basement on his computer. Anyway...

Salti picked the three of us up and we headed downtown. The crowd was great. We've gone to concerts down there for a long time now and I've always enjoyed the diverse crowd that shows up. Whether you're a Dead head or a pop star you seem to fit right in. The music was great! We had a good spot to stand and enjoy watching the bands perform.
Did I mention that there were a lot of really hot people? I'm not just going to say men... I've always been able to comment on the beauty of ALL people and there were beautiful people aplenty there. Not that Erica or my dad were capable of noticing anything but the beautiful men that seemed to be surrounding us... giggle, giggle... but that's okay=) And they were freaking loud enough about it too! The women behind us were laughing about their dialogue! It was getting a bit x-rated for a while... I'm sure either of them would be happy to enlighten you if you asked (or don't ask, they'll tell you either way).
Oh yes... and heaven forbid anything should ever happen to my wonderful husband... BUT...
I found my next husband too;)
Spearhead was absolutely incredible... I'll have to dig up some background on them and blog later...
xoxo
aurs

Lesser of two evils?

I've been thinking of something for a while now, being a full-time working mom and wife with a husband that works full- time as well. Is it really better that we try to limit the amount of child care we use? Or are we just putting more strain on our marriage? There are more reasons than just altruism that we do it. Monetarily it is nice to be able to have a little extra money now and then to do things like, I don't know, buy groceries... instead of paying through the nose for daycare, but in all sincerity...
I often hear people make the comment "oh that's so good" when I tell them that we usually don't need daycare for our kids. I mean a friend that I work with comes and watches them every now and then when our schedules don't work out but that's not very often and not for that long. I was always of the opinion that I didn't have kids so that other people could raise them. That was before I had three kids who could all walk.
Thing seem different now. I almost feel that things might be better managed if we were all out of the house at the same time and all came back together in the evenings. You know... the 'traditional' way. The way 'they' used to do it. Maybe it's just more stressful for me being alone with the kids and trying to juggle housework at the same time. I guess it's because I'm also trying to do fun things with them too. I want to be the mom that gives them individual time and reads to them and helps them fall asleep by tickling their back. Instead I turn into this amazon that runs around the house yelling because everyone is in different corners trying to get my attention by doing crazy things. And I think the worst part is... I'm usually alone. The same goes for my husband too. When I'm at work he's here alone with the kids so I'm sure he deals with the same type of stuff.
There is a balance. I know there is. I hope there is. There has to be. I'm amazed that my mom was a single parent for as long as she was. I can't even begin to imagine what she must have gone through trying to raise me. I know I wasn't a crazy hellion by any means. But I was a fairly emotional girl. I guess it's only fair that I deal with some of that from my kids. I watch the women around me and try to draw from their strengths. I love strong women. What keeps them upright/sane? How do they balance their lives?
I know they've learned to let a lot role off of their backs. I'm getting a lot better at that. Especially being alone with three kids. You can't be everywhere at once so you have to learn that clothes are made to get dirty... kids can be thrown in a tub. Hair will grow back. I love all of those book titles that have become cliche now... "Don't sweat the small stuff"... "Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten"... stuff like that. I really think phrases like that come up more often for me on a daily basis than just about anything else. Oh and the golden rule. Can't forget that one.

So in answer to the question whether it's better to use daycare or not. Who knows? I don't. I know that I've done both. I probably will again sometime in the future.

I'm also not perfect. Thank God they forgive me for my imperfections and still love me. They know that when mommy has a migraine they need to be extra good and quiet otherwise I'll break. They seem to have ultra perfect days when all I can do is just sit there and love them constantly for how well behaved and beautiful they are. The house is never clean but who the hell cares? I try. If you come over I'll be sure to give the toilet bowl a scrub before you get here and wipe the toothpaste off of the seat before you sit down... but I can't guarantee that the syrup will be gone from the table...after all... we just had pancakes for dinner=)

Don't even know how to label this one

I have to say I've not been a fan of TV lately... even the shows I couldn't live without just a short time ago I've kind of just forgotten about. So today I sat down and started flipping through channels and the only thing on was Ellen. I love Ellen. She's hot, funny, smart... I'm totally jealous of Portia (they're still married, right?!)... anyway... just thought I'd throw that in there. Love ya Ellen.

As you have probably gathered from Miss Salti... it's rainin' here in the land of the Salty lake. Yep... A LOT! Thank Jebus I have a sump pump down stairs. You ask yourself "what's a sump pump?"... well my love... a sump pump is this lovely thing that sucks water up from where it shouldn't be and puts it where you want it. In my case the ground water is really high where we live. So the people before us dug out a place in the basement (a bit more advanced than that ) and it pumps the water out to the street so our basement doesn't flood. Very nice!
Anyway... I love the rain. Doesn't do much for my motivation. Granted my kids don't do a whole lot for the motivation! I think their main goals in life are to make the biggest messes possible and to break as many things as they can in under 30 seconds. Seriously. I'm not exaggerating.
Oh yah... and did I mention that even though I love the rain it's made utterly impossible for my carpet to dry out from the grey water flood we had... yah... which brings me to my next picture...

This would definitely be the coolest place for a cat to take a potty break. I would fix my cat a steak dinner every night if it learned how to do this. However. I had a cat that I cherished as one of my own children since junior year in high school... yah folks, that was back in 96-97. And just last year he gets old (or upset, can't be sure which) and decides to start peeing EVERYWHERE! Everywhere there's carpet that is. Upstairs in the boys room. Downstairs in Taryn's room, downstairs in my closet, in the closet under the stairs... yada, yada, yada.

Scuff is no longer around... and don't even get me started or I won't be able to stop crying for a month... but we were just starting to get rid of the smell of pee before this flood happened... so what does that mean? It means the smell has returned with a vengeance! AAAAAAAAAHH!! And now in addition to that smell there's also that smell of wet carpet. I feel like I'm stuck in some strange rerun of the twilight zone... quick... someone rescue me.
Okay... I need to stop boobing... but it's been crazy.
So, yah. Hope you all have had a lovely week. Hahaha... Or at least one not filled with the smell of mildew and cat pee!

These are a few of my favorite things

I know these pictures are a little old... August through December of last year to be specific. But they're kind of fun. Trent and I went camping for my birthday (but of course) and my dad came to watch the kids for us. We went up to the Uintah's to a little area called Murdock Basin where I spent a lot of time as a kid backpacking and fishing.
This pictures of the kids and animals is at a local place called Wheeler Farm. Really cool! It's completely free! You can take the kids there and pet all the animals, play around the park and in the fall go grab a pumpkin. The kids had a great time following the gigantic geese. I was surprised the geese didn't try to chase them (apparently they caught sight of Trent and I).
We had a pretty low key Christmas here at the house. We don't really get too done up on Christmas morning... as you could probably guess by the attire of diapers and jammies=). I really love the pictures of my dad and Aidan on the swing taking a nap... pretty sweet.
For Thanksgiving we had our friends Krystal and her sister Zandra over with her little girl. The turkey was pretty damn tasty (too toot my own horn) and it was nice to put the kids at their own table for once! It was the first time this year I had occasion to break out the good china too. That was passed down from my Great-Grandma... I'll have to photograph it someday... it's gorgeous!
Anywho...off to make mac 'n chili for the naughty monkies... not that I think they truly deserve a homecooked meal (or box cooked) after the display they put on today at Costco... but apparently the rule book states they must be fed... so off I go;)
xoxo
Miss A

I love my Burt's

I love my Burt's Bees. That fabulous familiar tingle on my lips that tells me nothing but all natural loveliness is starting to soothe my aching lips. Well, apparently my little demons love it too... but they have different plans for my Burt's... I have gone through no less than
6
Yes, 6, in the last year alone. Have I finished any of those? No! Because they've eaten them all! And what does a mama bear do when she's threatened...

Yes, I've growled... A LOT... I thought I finally had one that I was keeping pretty good tabs on.
UNTIL TODAY! Good Lord people! I was just tucking them in and the littlest thief grabs it out of my pocket and voila... half an hour later a half eaten stick is returned to me. So, now instead of growling... I resort to tantrum blogging...
Thanks for indulging me.

My Random Tuesday... (It's Tuesday, right?!)

I'll just get straight to the nitty gritty...Man... Rob... Whew. Now that I'm done with the Twilight series I just have to appreciate him for what he is... a good actor, singer, and boy toy. Nothing wrong with that...Of course I'll be a little upset when he doesn't show up on my doorstep tomorrow to fulfill his fantasies... but somehow I'll get over it.

Sometimes I feel a bit like a mad scientist in the kitchen. My sweet kids just put up with it... and it's a good thing otherwise they'd probably starve... (no not really) I love just opening up the cupboards and fridge and seeing what happens. I feel bad when people ask me for recipes for the random shit I make... because honestly... I have no idea how things turn out half the time. If it smells like it needs some rosemary... I throw it in. I don't know how much! Okay... to be fair... I use recipes sometimes. But only the first time I make something... and then I usually tweak it a bit the next time. Tonight was particularly delish... Penne pasta with fresh tomato, asparagus, rosemary, and basil tossed in. mmmmm... yummy

I dig this bra. If only I had the boobies to match it =( That's what I get for being a mean little shit when I was in high school and teasing my mom about having bigger boobs than she did. Now, three kids later, she has bigger, perkier boobs than me. Oh well. Karma's a bitch.

I've finally found a migraine med that seems to work for me... only problem is I feel a bit like this cute kitty here after I've taken in (note the unusually large pupils). I'm having to practice at being productive while taking it. For some reason my family seems adverse to the idea of me lounging around on the couch all day!?
Go figure.
Dear Diary,
When did I turn into a teenage girl and start dreaming about being abducted by and incredibly sexy vampire? I think my skin is getting more translucent by the day and I have the strange urge to bite my husband every now and then.
Sigh...
I've always wanted to live in the Pacific NW... I don't think that will ever happen now... but you never know. For those of you wondering... this is a picture of the forest in Forks, WA... and for those of you wondering what the significance is of that (sigh), let's just say it has something to do with a small obsession I seem to be dealing with these days. I'll explain to you in person if you're lost.

Happy Tuesday!