The Professor

She wandered around the university looking for her next class, "something- methods..." she thought to herself wondering where on God's green earth building 'F' could be.  Upon finding her class she was relieved to see that there were still spots available on the front row. You wouldn't call her an ass-kisser but she liked to make eye contact with the professor and sitting in the back was always so distracting. Sally Bimbo twirling her hair here, Jeffrey Jock rubbing his thighs there. Pulling a notebook and pen from her bag she scanned the room to see who she would be spending the next couple of months with. Same group of idiots she had been avoiding in the previous two classes. "Honestly" she thought, "why do they even bother showing up". 1030 on the dot - a handsome middle aged man in a tweed coat walks into the lecture hall from the rear. He had 'Professor' written all over his worn leather bag, loafers, and faded jeans. His dark hair was kept short and just a hint of grey peeked through at his temples. He smelled like old books and aftershave as he walked past her to place his bag on the table. Immediately she felt her cheeks flush and a twinge of warmth between her thighs. She regretted being in the front of the class immediately and wondered if there were any spaces in the back. Flipping around she found that the room had filled up quickly (of course).

The Professor introduced himself briefly and while doing so made eye contact with a select few students around the room. As his eyes came to fall upon her his speech started to slow. His breathing became a bit more noticeable. She couldn't look away. His lips parted and all she noticed was the way he'd wet his lower lip with the tip of his tongue after he'd been speaking for a while. Noted as well were the slow strokes that his forefinger made along the handle of his mug as he looked down at the floor where her feet were crossed at the ankles. Her eyes  traced the strong line of his jaw down along the 'V' of his collared shirt. Just a little hair at the juncture. How could she not close her eyes momentarily and dream about the expanse of his chest against her hands, lips, breasts? Her breath caught -attracting the attention of several around her. She coughed a bit hoping to hide the sound that had just escaped her lips. Of course she had caught his attention as well... his gaze intensified.

He walked over to the table and sat his coffee mug down. He straddled the edge of the small desk addressing the class with a warm yet smug air that read "I'm much smarter than you but I'd still like to invite you back to my office after and tear your clothes off". Maybe she was projecting that last part. As he spoke he rocked gently side to side on the corner of the desk.  Perhaps only noticeable to her secondary to the fact that he was seated directly in front of her and his belt was at her eye-line.  Maybe it had more to do with the way she could not stop thinking about parting her knees and allowing him to crawl between them and nuzzle her tiny, mesh thong to the side with his nose.

Beads of perspiration welled between her breasts as the daydream enshrouded her mind. All of a sudden The Professor stood and thanked the class for attending and excused them. Had an hour passed already? As she put her unused notebook and pen away she could see him gathering his things together.  The class began filing out and being at the front of the class she was now among the last to leave. She could not imagine trying to concentrate for the rest of the semester and began to leave the room with an unrequited feeling of desire. A slight wind ran up the back of her neck making her hair stand on end. As she reached up to quiet the aroused hair follicles The Professor reached for her hand and pulled her back into the room with him!

His lips found hers immediately. Her eyes closed as she was consumed by the feel of his large lower lip between her teeth. He tasted so incredibly good! He traced his lips along her neck now and up to her earlobe. Immediately she wanted more of him. All of him...

To Be Continued...

The Waterproof Prostate Massager (Toy Reviews, Edition 2)

So here it is... the second edition of Mistress Auri and Miss Salti's Toy Reviews...

Mistress Auri, here. I know you've been waiting on pins and needles for this little thing so try to calm yourself a ... it will be okay.

Our friend above here is called the Waterproof Prostate Massager. Can I tell you why this makes me laugh like an old woman? Because I had no idea whatsoever that it was meant for the prostate... which for those of you unfamiliar with the beautiful male anatomy would be the small gland located inside of their anus that when massaged is somewhat more intense (or so I'm told) than our g-spot. Not having a prostate myself, I think the comparison is sketchy and sounds like something a man would say. When I bought this little toy there was nothing on the packaging about a prostate... NADA! You can imagine that it's good for the g-spot too though... so that's what I found it useful for. It's not very pretty to look at... kinda makes you feel like you're plunging yourself with a metal pipe... but I guess if you're into that it might be just what you're looking for?! I however like things that are a little more soft, gentle, and look more sexy when being used. It's waterproof so by all means take it in the shower or tub and let loose! The batteries seem to last for quite a while (however we've established that maybe I'm not the best judge of this since everyone around me seems to change their batteries every couple of weeks and mine last years!) If you're thinking of getting this for your man... might I suggest THE TALK first? "What talk would that be Mistress," you ask... well dear... that would be the doyoulikeituptheass talk. And if you can't have the talk then perhaps this toy (in its intended use) is a little advanced for you. There are plenty of lubes to accompany such a toy...

For those burly "ofcourseIdon'tlikeituptheass" men. Doc Johnson's Man Grease. A good lube with a humorous package to 'ease' you into the moment.
And don't forget Mr. Marcus' Booty Butter... how could I not choose this? Look at the name... sometimes it's all in the presentation...

And last but certainly not least...
Adam and Eve is a great site (like I've said before) and when they put out a lube... you listen.

And again for those of you who are all about the numbers game...

Ease of Use:
4/5

Durability:
3/5

'O' Factor:
3/5

Price:
5/5

That gives our little Toy a 15/20... Not as good as the i-vibe... but good enough to get the job done well and it doesn't sound like a lawnmower... that's a good thing by the way.

So, venture forth...
find a good lube...
strike up a wicked hot bath...

And let the games begin...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ms. Salti over here... Apparently I'm supposed to do a review, mention how it relates to Megan Fox and include a tres sexy picture of her with it. How in the HELL am I supposed to do that? I'm not sure either... so strap on your strap-ons (that will forever be my favorite line) cuz we're goin' for a ride!

So, I'm not sure exactly why in some realms of the adult toy industry this fantastic little piece of machinery is referred to as a prostate massager. Better yet, I'm not sure why the one Auri owns was packaged as such because I have a very similar one that was labeled as a G-Spot stimluator. (And you'll be interested to know that as I was typing "stimulator" my fingers slipped - get your minds out of the gutter - and typed something random like 'sty9lskhu' because they got very excited.)

Moving right along... If you're looking for a G-spot stimulator that is softer and/or prettier than the one shown above, then this is the toy for you! The one above is called the Pinks Bombay G-Spot Vibrator.

I bought this little gem a little over a year ago, and after the first time I used it, I decided I was never leaving the house again. Too bad I had to go to work and try to lead a normal life. As you might be able to tell from the picture, the toy is actually a plain old vibrator covered in a textured silicone sleeve. I've always just left the sleeve on so I can't speak to it's function as a regular vibrator. But believe me, with the sleeve on, you'll be a very happy camper!

Girls, if you've never found your g-spot on your own, first, shame on you, second, go buy one of these toys. If you can't find your g-spot using this, then I would consider the fact that maybe you just don't have one. And make an appointment with your gyno.

Men, if you've never found your woman's g-spot, first, double shame on you, second, have her use this fantastic little toy and show you where it is. And once you've found it, don't leave.The only two things (and they're related) that I don't like about this are 1) the on/off is a button at the base of the toy, and 2) there are only 3 speeds. I prefer the turn-knobs as they're easier to operate when you're all hot and bothered and they generally offer more range in vibration.

Overall rating of this toy: 16/20

Ease of use - 3/5
Durability - 4/5
O factor - 5/5
Price - 4/5

If you're looking for a new toy, and want to expand your horizons, this is the one you want! I bet even Megan Fox has one...

Summer Lovin'

It was going to be a long summer. Of that she was sure. She took the long plane ride Southeast to Florida to be with her dad for several weeks. She always enjoyed the summers with her dad but the older she got the more she missed the time away from her friends, boyfriends, and the creature comforts that the home of her mother afforded her.

It was muggy when she landed, no shit. When wasn't it muggy and hot during a Florida summer? At 3 o'clock sharp each day the skies would open up and the large Romanesque clouds would roll in off of the Atlantic and drop their payload above the sleepy town of West Palm Beach.

Renee had finally grown into her body this year. She wasn't a late bloomer by any stretch of the imagination but being 2 years younger than everyone she knew made it seem that way. She was a little taller than average, slender build, with curvy boobs and a small, round ass that she loved to admire in the mirror in her favorite pair of Levis 501's. Her hair was long, chocolate brown with sun kissed highlights around the crown of her face.

The few trips that they had taken to the beach were fruitless. She thought they would be bustling with young surfers (her favorite brand of naughty) but instead they were peppered with the occasional retiree and middle aged tourist. For the love of God! Her hormones were going to bust out of this new body of hers and she had nobody to share them with. All she longed for was someone to hold the small of her back while they kissed her earlobes. She laid on her straw mat in the hot sun and rested her fingertips in the sand. As it tickled the insides of her fingers her thighs began to sweat and she couldn't help but think of him.

The boy she left at home was ever present for Renee. She would put on her chap stick and taste his plump lips on her tongue. As her fingers straightened the straps of her bra she could feel his rough hands gently pulling them off her shoulders as he whispered in her ear. There was never a moment she would touch her own body that his shadow was not there mirroring her actions.

This was unbearable! She had to find a distraction or the sand was going to turn into a plate of glass beneath her.

Luckily her dad decided that they would go on a road trip to visit some friends of the family for the fourth of July. It wasn't exactly the distraction she had in mind but she was sure that a road trip would be better than lying in the sun all day staring at her half-naked, oily body. It just reminded her of how badly she wanted those rough hands caressing her.

Upon their arrival she was surprised to find not only their friends but several other families that she had not expected... new faces. Good looking, young faces.
John was the first to catch her eye. He was tall, muscular, light brown skin, and incredible green eyes that immediately left a red glow on her cheeks that would remain for the rest of the trip. The other was Ben. Sweet farm boy with all American features and a tall slender build.

Immediately Ben was in his element taking Renee horseback riding and hiking. They walked for hours around the property not talking much but enjoying each other's company. That evening they sat on the porch and John cam to sit next to Renee. He easily joined in the conversation and captivated her attention for the rest of the night.

After Ben had gone home they moved down to the fire pit to talk a little more. He noticed that she had gotten cold and moved closer to her. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders without any effort she nestled into his muscular chest and took a deep breath of his intoxicating smell. Her thoughts started to cloud over and her breathing grew heavy. He traced the line of her jaw. He told her that she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever met. He asked if he could kiss her lips as his breath brushed across her forehead. The words could not escape her mouth but she was drawn to him.

She straddled his lap, kissing him slowly and deliberately. Careful not to miss out on the details of his perfect mouth. His hands moved to cup her ass (good boy) and pulled every inch of her body that much closer to his. Her lips left his only to wander over to the earlobe of his left ear. First just a kiss, then she held it gently between her lips as the tip of her tongue caressed it. His breathing quickened underneath her -knowing that she could cause such a reaction in him- so she moved down his neck and repeated the dance on the opposite side.

John's hands moved from her lower back up her shirt and traced the curvature of her spine. A move that drover her wild and instantly sent goose bumps across her body. He reached up and grabbed her ponytail, gently tugging backward on it to reveal her neck and soft cleavage. Each kiss left her breath more shallow, yearning for something more. Her hips began to move gradually and he matched her movement as his hands pulled her down with firm pressure upon his lap.
With one hand on her hip and one tangled in her now free hair he pulled her soft lips back to his once more as she felt a soft sigh escape his lips.

Dawn was coming over the forested hills and lighting the lake next to them. John wished that he had his suit so they could go for a swim. Without a second thought she walked onto the dock and shed the clothes that she'd been so longing to for hours now. He gazed at her beauty as she dove into the cool water. He sat at the end of the dock with his feet in the water as she let her cold nipples tickle his shins.

When she was ready to get out he wrapped her in a towel and kissed her more passionately than she had ever been kissed before or would ever be for years to come.

My Honest Scrap Smells Like Roses! (honest)

My sexy bloggy friend over at Confessionsofasocialwhore, Mia Dickinson, tagged me and left me the Honest Scrap award. Thanks Mia! You're a peach. Which means you're lovely (just in case it means something not so complimentary over there in the land of Your Majesty).

"The Honest Scrap award comes with a caveat or two. Firstly, you have to tell your readers ten things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly, you have to tag 10 people with the award. Thirdly, let all the people you've given the award to know that they've gotten it (comment on their blogs or something). And finally, make sure you link back to the person who awarded you."

Just like to point out that Mia did not tell me that I got the award... which is usually not an issue since I'm stuck like glue to her fab blog... but... I got distracted by the lack of sleep and work schedule and happened to miss the one post in which I was mentioned. The story of my life. Oh well... I've made up for it now.

On with the honest scrap...
#1- I don't have any anal toys and I won't ever unless someone purchases one for me and then I swear I will never use it.

#2- I once had the opportunity during spring break in San Diego with Ms. Salti (when I was 17) to have sex with a gorgeous, extremely well endowed, black man and I chickened out because he was so big. Hello! I was still fairly naive and had no clue how that would work with this.

#3- I am now reading the Twilight series for the third time. I can't stop. It's like an addictive drug and I don't want to stop either. I'm almost embarrassed about it... but not quite (depends on who I'm talking to). It's all Ms. Salti's fault. Were it not for her prodding I wouldn't have gone to see the movie in the first place, never would have purchased the books, never would have gotten obsessed. It's a sickness. Please don't judge me. I judge myself (and my husband gives me shit enough for all of you, I promise).

#4- I have a total crush on Megan Fox. You know, the chick from Transformers. We just went to see the movie yesterday and I think she's officially on my "I'm not a Lesbian but if she were to ask me to be I might have to apologize to my husband and jump ship" list. Wow. I'm at a loss for words.

#5- On our first road trip together hubby and I had sex at just about every rest stop from here to Seattle. We can recommend our favorite to anyone caring to recreate the journey.

#6- There's a dark side of me that wants to yell obscenities and kick the shit out of random people being assholes.

#7- I have lived in Italy twice. Once when I was a baby for about a year and a half. The last was for several months while I was 17 and I got to hang out on the set of U-571 where my dad was working on the set.

#8- I have some cellulite on my ass. Fuck you, don't laugh.

#9- I have better orgasms than you do... (if you'd care to argue I dare you to prove it)

#10- I just put out multiple large bowls of beer. For the snails. Not to be kind. If you've missed previous posts you have missed that I tried to be nice before by collecting them and putting them in a little terrarium in the house but now it's war. They're eating everything in my garden and I'm pissed! I hope they enjoy getting sloshed before they die.

Okay... now to tagging others. 10 people is kind of a lot. Hmmm...

1. Jana- She's kind of new to the world of blogging and I can't wait to hear some of her honest scrap.
2. Sarcastically Bitter- A lovely nurse up in Canada... bet she's got some scrap up her sleeve.
3. Mr. Condescending- He's just beyond honest all the time anyway... but hell... let's see what he'll come up with.
4. Becoming Kate- She has plenty of stories and some crazy life experiences... tell us some more hun!
5. In the Head of Em- I've been there once or twice... maybe you'll be lucky enough to get inside?
6.The Trainwreck Chronicles- She's wicked, she's funny... she's also a bigshot now... so let's see if she really responds.
7.Noelle- Can you handle the truth from a 5th grade teacher? They're scary when they take their hair down...

Okay... that's all I've got. The other people either have already gotten this or don't post stuff like this on their blogs...

~love at first peek~

Once upon a time there were two little pink pouches. Soft and silky in nature. Quiet, reserved, yet they knew somehow that they were drawn to each other like pen to paper. They would talk endlessly, day after day, but remained in their pouches because they were shy. They had never played with anyone else.

Until one day...

They were chatting away and decided to peek their heads out to say hi. What could it hurt? Just a peek. Just a 'hi'. After all, they'd spent so much time getting closer and they had no idea up to this point what the other looked like. So... finally... they stretched their hard, smooth, glass heads upward toward the light of day and out toward the unknown of this other person they had gotten to know and realized that they were not so different after all.

It was love...

At first peek...

It wasn't all at once but over the next little while they shed their pretty pink covers and sat side-by-side examining their similarities and delighting in their differences. Sure one had hearts here and the other had stripes there... but were their purposes really all that different? On the inside, elementally, weren't they really both, the same?

And so they fell.

Stripe for stripe. Heart for heart. They promised never to return to the 'Life of the Pouch' again.
No matter what.

The End.

Mistress Auri