Grey's Anatomy... My eyes are still red and swollen

I admit I've been a bad fan this past month... what can I say? I've been busy! My dad and I just sat down tonight and caught up on all the episodes I've missed... let's put it this way... I've always said that it's not a good episode if you're not bauling by the end of the show... and I was drenched in tears, sobbing. Literally. So, being a nurse, I try to suspend my disbelief somewhat with these shows (because they tend to be fairly far fetched) but I'm always plesantly surprised by Greys... seems I don't even need to think about that. Sure I think things like "why not take off your sweater before getting in the shower with him" or "why are you walking into an OR without a mask on"... but really folks, not too important in the grand scheme of late night entertainment.
So, bravo. I've cried and cried and cried. Then I cried some more. I bet the writers kicked themselves after they killed Denny off and then realized how popular he was. Too bad they had to bring him back in this fashion. But it's not Grey's unless someone is on the verge of death. Guess Izzy had it coming. We like her though... so I'm 'praying' for a medical miracle. haha.

Swing Vote

Trent brought home the movie Swing Vote the other day and I vaguely remembered seeing the trailers for it several months ago. He watched it last night and couldn't stop talking about it. He was like "You HAVE to watch this!" So... I distracted the kids for a bit and put it on. Great movie about this deadbeat dad whose daughter is more interested in voting than he is. One thing leads to another and the entire presidential outcome winds up on his shoulders. Seems like a very unbelievable story... but the real message here was more about the importance of voting regardless what your thoughts are of the process behind it.

After this last election I felt reaffirmed that my vote does matter. Even though I am living in what's considered a predominantly conservative state I feel that my voice was heard. I don't agree with the electoral college. Yes, I was taught all about it in college, and I think that once upon a time it had a need. However... as with many things... change occurs and change is needed. I'm not sure how little ole me would ever cause a change there... but I guess it all starts with voicing my opinion and writing a letter. I'll get working on that ;)
Hope you rent it... hope you enjoy it!

GIRL'S NIGHT!!!

I am so excited for my girls night tonight that I can't stand it!! I'm not sure if I should wear the outfit above... I'm thinking that it's a bit cold... for the weather outside is frightful! Let's see if I can remember to take pictures. Oh hell, I'll just remind Erica to bring her camera and we'll take pictures with that=)
More later on girl's night...

He's Here!! (finally...)

My pops has arrived. After a long and miserable day of driving he showed up on my doorstep drenched in sweat from white knuckle driving in the fog and tired from a long day. For those of you who don't know the back story my dad stayed with us last year from August to about end of September. I think I got a little spoiled having my daddy/shopping buddy/morning person around all the time and have been missing him a lot since he took off for a job in Austin. Well, now he's back! I'm sure there will be a long list of people (the majority of my friends) who will be anxious to see him! Guess that means a...
PARTY!!
We're due... It's been since New Year's Eve... way too long by my standards. I'll keep you updated on that;)
Anyway, I'm so happy that he's back here. I never know exactly when he's coming or for how long he'll stay. All I know is how much I enjoy him while he's around

Taking Responsibility

Since the day that I found out Obama was going to be the next President I've been so excited to listen to him speak. Listening to him reminds me of the days when people used to huddle around department store windows and bar radios just to catch what the President was going to say next. And for the last eight years it's been "Oh Lord, what's that quack going to say now".

The message that I've taken to heart from Obama is the need to take responsibility for the change that we expect to occur. I really identified with the idea of decreasing my number of worked hours so that a fellow employee could keep their job. It's that type of ideal that has been slowly but surely diminishing from our society. Many of the younger generation have not been brought up with the same work ethic that my parents or grandparents have. It's foolish to believe that one person can single-handedly change the future. I believe that one person can spark change in others and cause a ripple that will change the future.

Well... I've been sparked... and this is my ripple. I am taking responsibility for the actions that I take and the effect that my actions have on my children and the rest of the world. I will make decisions with others in mind and realize that my actions do not only affect me. I challenge each of you to create your own ripple and decide to make a change.

Get upset. Have a voice. Carry your neighbor. Give of yourself.

If you've been sparked I ask you to write your own declaration and get it out there.

Communication

What a concept... I know.

Did you know that when a hospital has an adverse event they do this thing called a root cause analysis. They want to know why it happened and find out what they can do to prevent it next time. 72% of all major events in hospitals are caused by communication errors! Good lord! Why can't we fucking communicate? Even if it's to say "I don't want to be with you anymore" or "all I want is a one night stand" or "this is my land, not yours or ours, get the fuck off." Seems legitimate to me. Why is it so hard? I'm not excluded from this rant. There are some days where I absolutely have no desire to communicate. I expect everyone to know why I'm in a bad mood and to know exactly what to do about it. Animals aren't like this. A rattlesnake is frightened of being eaten, it rattles at you. Cats get pissed off, they hiss. A dog doesn't want to be kissed or have you rub his tummy, he growls and tries to bite your hand off (but we still love him). So why, as human beings, can't we just communicate our feeling with one another? We are taught from such a young age to be nice to our elders. Share with the other kids. Don't correct adults. Good girls don't ask for sex. No wonder we're all miscommunicating! The burdens of being upright... more like the burdens of being uptight and dishonest!

If I want sex I'm going to ask for it! If I want to flirt I'm going to flirt! And we can change our minds from one second to the next but we should feel comfortable in communicating that, for some unknown reason, we have changed our minds again.

Okay. I can handle that.

Another one of those difficult lessons I learned from my Dad. I didn't want to be at a party he had here at the house. I don't know why really... I just wasn't feeling it. But instead of just saying that (for fear of hurting his feelings) I just took off. Well. that lack of communication hurt him far more than anything I could have said.

It seems that as women we often over-think situations as well. So when we're hot and heavy in a new relationship we associate that as the status quo. When things cool down a bit, without said communication, we analyze and assume that something must be wrong. We begin to act strangely, defensively. We begin to communicate less for fear that we'll be hurt. And who wants to be hurt first? I don't... I'll be honest.

God what a mess.

Where is this going? I don't know. Communicate, for the love of God! Please. Even if it hurts. Even if it's embarrassing. Even if it's inconvenient. Just communicate. I promise I'll try harder. And I recognize that not everyone around me is at the same point as me... so it might not always work out so well. But I'm still going to do it...

Wes Ramsey

I remember when my dad first told me about Wes Ramsey in the movie Latter Days that he was in with Steve Sandvoss. One thing led to another and he was photographing both of them. The first shoot Wes and my dad did together was on the beach out in Laguna and there was no denying he was beautiful. Over the years I'd never really heard too much more about him and then the other day my dad calls and says "Hey, I'm photographing Wes again, so keep your eye out for some new pics." So, I hop on his blog today to get a preview and as Odum likes to say "I think I just came in my pants a little." Okay, I know that was crass... but Oh My God! Wes went from being really hot to really hot AND my kind of man... If you want to see more pics and hear about the shoot my dad posted about it. He's beanie cap guy under the blogs I follow.

Apparently Wes is a really cool guy. Pretty down to earth, incredibly smart... you know... all those things that just make the men we love so much more irresistible. How does my dad do it? Well, I know how he does it... when you take amazing pictures and you're that much fun to be around, people flock to you.

Way to go Wes... you just made it onto my top 5 list.

Nekkers

My dad has been crocheting beanie caps for quite some time now. He explains them in much finer detail than I will... but you'll have to go to his page for that (www.pussycap.com) .

The Nekker that I'm wearing above is made of Cashmere, Angora, Baby Alpaca, and I think a little hand spun Merino. It's my favorite thing to wear! It's crazy versatile too...
He started crocheting Nekkers a little bit ago and so of course we had to do a little photo shoot to get them out there... I like to think of this as my aloof look...

You all have been telling me forever that you'd visit his site, buy his caps, yada, yada, yada... Now I'm going to be shameless and put the Nekkers up on my blog so you'll actually do it!


You didn't know I doubled as a model did you? Hahaha! I don't know that I'll be getting calls anytime soon to drop everything and fly to Paris... ho hum... guess I'll just have to stick with the nurse thing. Why are you still reading this? Why haven't you gone to http://www.pussycap.com/ ? Because you're afraid you'll find something you like and spend money?
Get over yourself! Go buy something that will make you feel like the Diva you are!

Pops

"Into the great wide open. A rebel without a clue."

My Favorite P's

Ms. Salti has carried on this tradition of taking a letter from the alphabet and listing the top ten things that you enjoy starting with that letter. I have my suspicions of why she chose the letter "P" for me... but we shall see=)

1. Pals... Nothing like having people around that you can snuggle with in your comfy's...

2. Pearl Jam... if you read my blog you already know how much I love these guys!

3. Popsie... Man I love my pops. Isn't he a good looking guy! I'd like to think I get a lot of my sense of adventure and spontaneity from him.

4. Penis (don't judge)... let's face it... if a good majority of us ladies didn't enjoy the male member... you wouldn't be sitting here reading this blog! Let's hear it for the Penis!

5. Pajamas... why aren't all our clothes as comfy as our pajamas? I don't know... but I love mine. Even when they consist of nothing more than my birthday suit=)

6. Posting... okay, no, I don't post with a typewriter (although that would be kind of cool). But blogging has really become a wonderful way to process my daily affairs and get to know those around me a little better.

7. Pot... although I don't smoke currently, it's not like I haven't. Should be legal... should be encouraged over tobacco... but for now we'll just say that it's a lovely drug if one chooses to partake.

8. Powder... I've only had the opportunity once to board in powder (though not this deep) and it was pure nirvana. Mmmm... apparently I'm supposed to have a powder howl... and someday if you're lucky you'll get to hear it;)

9. Photography... Thanks to Ansel Adams for allowing me to post this... not that he's around anymore... but thanks anyway! Having a photographer for a father, or a father for a photographer, I grew up with a love of the camera. Very much like journaling is for me... a way to relive the moments of your life...

10. Pregnant Bellies... Yes, this is my first pregnant belly with my Scuffers kitty on top. After I got over the puking, stretch marks, and all that other stuff... being pregnant was liberating for me. As women we're always encouraged to watch our weight, suck in our gut, etc... being pregnant is the one time in your life where a big belly is absolutely beautiful. It makes sense that I'm a labor and delivery nurse. The magic is not lost on me and I enjoy taking a woman through the journey of a pregnant belly to a new baby. And yes, I love rubbing pregnant bellies! But only if I'm given permission!

As promised...

There are just so many incredible artists and bands on my play list right now that I decided to save three for another post.

Pink Floyd was such an obscure group for me while I was growing up. I knew who they were but didn't really consider myself a fan until my junior year of high school. I had this crazy vagabond of an older boyfriend and he absolutely loved them. It got me listening to Dark Side of the Moon a lot more and after that I was intrigued with their sound. It wasn't until a lot later that I started listening to some of their earlier stuff. Some of it is a bit abstract for me but I can appreciate the journey that they went through as a band. Every once in a while you'll catch a guitar riff off another band's album and recognize it as one of theirs. They are definitely pioneers to a great deal of music over the last 20+ years. Wish You Were Here is one of my favorite songs of theirs. Painful, romantic, filled with imagery. When he sings "we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year" it's so simple but precise.

Yummy... Okay, not all of them are yummy. If you doubt what my type is... just look for the two with the longest hair in the group.

Pearl Jam=) Mike, Stone, Matt, Jeff, and Eddie. Is it strange to feel like you have a relationship with a band that you've never met in person? When Ten came out it was immediately part of my life. I loved their music from then on out but didn't fully appreciate each song or the band as a whole until I met Trent. We fell in love during our trip to Seattle to see these guys play. Hands down the best live performers ever. I expect it's along the same experience that fans of the Grateful Dead had. Fans travel around to all the shows... you get to know the people around you. Their music is beautiful, their messages are powerful. For those of you who stopped listening after Jeremy and Better Man... might I suggest you catch up. Their music is moving. I feel at home when I listen to them.



And that 's how they look on stage too... Mike is the ham with his guitar. I often get the impression that he picks people out of the crowd to "make love" to with his guitar. Stone seems to hold it all together...caries the group along... he lives up to his name. Eddie... mmm... armed with his wine bottle and notebook you never quite know what you're going to get. Quiet and unassuming he unleashes his inner beast on you when you least expect it. Matt joined the group a while back from Soundgarden. I get so lost in his drumming... he's incredible! Jeff and that bass... you can feel his notes reverberating through your body with every strum. Love you guys!

The only band that could possibly follow Pearl Jam for me would be Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Their music is incredible...what else do I say? Always been there for me. Ever changing. For a long time my friends and I had this theory that Bob Dylan and Tom Petty were the same person. There are so many songs where they sound identical... creepy. They must be from the same womb. I finally saw them on the same stage some time ago, so I guess the theory is a bust. I have always admired that they could come out with a total classic rock song like Into the Great Wide Open when no one else was playing music like that... and be incredibly popular! Just goes to show that music is more than just it's genre.

Thank you boys...you make my life rich.

This is not a New Year post...

I'm not sure what it is... but it won't be filled with resolutions and epiphanum. Sorry. This year has been wonderful and difficult as I'm sure every year will be for the rest of my life. Many lessons I've learned I don't really care to share... although I guess that's what we're supposed to do as bloggers... so maybe a top ten list? Sure, why not?

My Random Top 10

10. 3 kids is a lot... A lot of joy, mess, mental breakdowns, laughs, responsibility, diapers...

9. My parents are really cool... Mom ran her first marathon at 54 and is my idol. Dad travels the world, meets extraoridinary people, eats incredible food, and teaches me difficult lessons that most of the time I would prefer not to learn=)

8. Took a cut in pay to do what I wanted and decrease the stress in my life

7. Love is always available when you're open to it

6. First time driving long distance by myself with the kids. It was empowering. I realized that I'm pretty co-dependant in a lot of areas in my life. This was one area where I decided to take that control back. We had a great time.


5. Went to Vegas without the husband or kids... I haven't taken a trip without them for 7 years... it was long overdue and refreshing. I've heard people talk about losing their identity before. Trips like that help me find myself again.

4. I don't need to win the popularity contest.


3. Erica is just as much a part of my family as Trent or my kids. I'd be lost without her in my life.
2. I no longer need other people's definitions of what's right or normal to feel fulfilled.

1. I'm working hard to be thankful for each day because I realize that I have a charmed life. Not easy, not incredibly hard, but good. And right now, I think that's enough...