My New Favorite Blog...

The Japing Ape

Isn't it a fabulous bloggy world when out of nowhere a stranger can leave a comment on your blog about a very personal story and the next thing you know you're checking your computer three times a day to see if they've written anything new? Well kiddies, that's the type of relationship I've developed with our dear friend Mr. Gorilla Bananas over at The Japing Ape. His commentary is absolutely clever and witty. He is so well spoken that I've joked about having to use a dictionary to make it through his posts before (granted most of the words I have to look up are just ones we don't use here in the States).

He is absolutely random which automatically qualifies him for a star in my book. We often call ourselves random these days but his style of blogging is truly random. I never know what his next post is going to be about (from strippers in disguise to politicians and dildos). Or what his comments will be like on my posts. I try so hard to write without anyone in mind. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has a hard time not writing for my readers... but I think we all do it now and then. These days I do find myself wondering what a few of you will comment... and especially Mr. Bananas!

If you haven't had the pleasure of visiting his site I hope he doesn't mind me directing you there. I have no doubt that his poignant insight will be lost on many a reader but I consider him a true diamond in the ruff and it would be a sin not to share him with as many people as possible.

And by the way... If I ever make it to the Congo on safari... I want the strong, handsome, hairy gorilla named Mr. Bananas showing me around. I hear he gives 'private tours' on occasion to young Americans.
Promise I'll leave Mr. Auri home=)

I'm Not Dead! Just Distracted...

Hello lovelies... Just a quick note to let you know I'm working on a couple of things... I've lifted my ban on blog awards because Ms. Salti was cool enough to give me a couple (and I guess I really do want to win the popularity contest)... I'll take pics of the veggie garden and tell you all about that... oh and I have a fabulous (very personal) story about a flying dildo and tears. So, there you have it.

Stay tuned

And yes...

I will catch up on every single post I've missed on your blogs... I know I'm a bad dog...

This is not a blog award...

So Miss Salti... I will play along with your wily games because I like ya! But no one else! teeheehee...
The name of the game here is to post 7 things that make you happy. I figure that's a worthwhile cause.
1. Getting to go grocery shopping alone with my hubby
(if you are without children then you won't truly understand the gravity of this statement until you have some of your own). I always hate excluding people who don't have kids... but let me say that grocery shopping can be kind of fun when you have time to just mosey through the isles. There's the occasional ass grab as a member of the shopping party bends over to grab something off the bottom shelf. You can make dirty gestures with the veggies... stuff like that=)
2. An empty sink AND an empty dishwasher
translation: someone other than myself has been putting dishes away and that is just too fabulous for words. Not that I mind it all that much... but it's a tasty treat.
3. Dark chocolate
There's this really hot, very sweet, kind of dorky, guy that works for a certain Italian deli here in SLC. He does classes for random things like cheese, chocolate, olive oil... well I've taken his cheese and chocolate classes and I love him, oops I mean them. Anyway... he helped me strengthen my love and appreciation for dark chocolate. Thanks Troy.
4. Getting lost in a good book
I absolutely love discovering new worlds in books. I get so lost in my head imagining what I'm reading. I sometimes refer to books as my version of Prozac. Who's with me?!
5. A good orgasm
(you ask what's the difference between an 'o' and a 'good o'? well... there's a difference. And for the nominal fee of $50 a month I'll tell ya all about it.
6. Erica (aka Miss Salti)
aww shucks... I know. What's left to say? I don't know. She's my other 'other' half. I get cranky when she's not around. And I probably don't appreciate her enough when she is around. She's the only person I feel like talking to regardless of my mood. (and that doesn't mean I love the rest of you any less). She makes me happy. Oh ya, and she makes my toes beautiful... so what's not to love?
7. My hubby
As much as he drives me crazy he also drives me wild. I can't imagine a world without him in it. He makes me happy in such subtle ways that I don't realize why I'm unhappy until he is. That makes no sense... but that's alright. I can totally be myself with him. He's helped me become the person I am today.

RIP Blog Awards

Okay... now I know... without a doubt... that I might piss a couple of people off here. Sorry... my blog. I suck at journaling... so this is my outlet. When I first started seeing these blog awards they seemed pretty cool. Something kind of exclusive. And perhaps several months ago they were. But like most good things on the Internet... people go crazy with it and it just gets a bit much.

The catch is they always come up with these cute little icons that you get to proudly post on your blog. But then what comes next??!! Oh, you have to send it off to 5-15 more of your closest friends so they get to do the same thing. (okay... I know you're all annoyed with me right now...again, I apologize)

See... it's like this cute lady here. "oh my God! Just got an award for being the 100,000,000,000,000 person to eat a hamburger at McD's. OMG!! What she doesn't know is that she was one of 1,000,000,000,000 people that actually got that award in each state and country throughout the world. Okay, so the story is not really true... but you get my point.

I'm all for commending people on their clever blogs... their uniqueness... their take on the world...etc,etc,etc. But come on people... let's just find a new way to do it? Whatdya say?

I'll start... CleverGirlGoesBlog absolutely makes me laugh uncontrollably every time I read her. I love the way she writes letters to everything... and though I am tempted to steal that idea from time to time... I guess I'll just leave it to her=)

oh ya... and thanks to my HLP for all the blog awards... I know you're just trying to make me feel special=) And I love you for it!!