The Fabulous Flashing Phallic Earrings

I'm sure you're all wondering how the toy party went... It was FABULOUS!! But that's not really what this story's about. This story is about the earrings that I wore to the party. I wore the deliciously naughty flashing-penis earrings pictured above. Yes... that's right. You know you're jealous.
After the party I took them off and put them in my purse. Never thought much of it. Occasionally I'd open my purse to pull out my wallet or camera and get a little chuckle from the penis earrings residing comfortably (incognito) at the bottom of my bag.
Couple weeks go by and I take my badge out of my purse to start off my work day. I go through all the motions: Pick my patient from the board, get report from the off-going nurse at the nurse's station, then gather a few things together to go meet the new patient.
I had been in her room for a few minutes when it became apparent that we needed to turn her to her side. As I look down to rearrange her pillows what do I notice on her bed??
Yep... wait for it...

A FLASHING PENIS EARRING!!

The thoughts that came next gyrated around in my head for maybe a millisecond.

1. OH MY GOD
2. This patient has the same earrings as me
3. How the hell did one of my earrings get into my patients bed
4. Should I ask her if it's hers
5. Should I leave it there and pretend I didn't see it
6. How quickly can I pick it up and put it elsewhere before she or her husband realize I've just picked something up from the bed and put it in my pocket?
7. Stay calm, try to breathe, don't make any funny faces

After that little cacophony of thoughts I rapidly picked up the flashing penis earring and placed it on the desk behind the label maker and went about the rest of my care.

I totally forgot about it. (Yes, I'm that good of a nurse... BWAHAHA)

It wasn't until later on that night... oh let's say around the magical hour of 3 a.m. that we were all chatting and the realization came to me that the flashing penis earring was still sitting where I'd left it. So I darted up and out of my seat... ran to the room... and thankfully, it was still there. The patient had been out of the room for several hours as well in case you were wondering.

Of course all the girls wanted to know what I had to run away from the desk from. I don't know how they caught the entire story between my hysterical laughing and tears but somehow by the end of it all we were all cracking up. I want to know how in the hell that little sucker hitched a ride on my badge and went unnoticed all the way from me putting it on in the car to reaching my patients room?!! Help a sister out people! Really! No one notices a flashing penis earring?? I find that hard to believe!

I know I've said that I'm going to try and merge my Mistress Auri self with my work self... but I draw the line at leaving phallic accouterments in bed with my patients.

That's just taking things a bit too far if you ask me.

Here's to hoping you all have something fabulously humbling and/or embarrassing happen to YOU this week!

I'm here to kick your ass and seal it with a kiss...

I'm feeling like I've found my superhero picture! All I need is to digitally throw on a couple of spatula there in holsters and I'd have my masterpiece!!

A little peek at my dad's book...

For those of you who don't know... my pops is a professional photographer and has been working on a book for about a year now. The other day we went up the canyon to shoot a few more pics to wrap things up...

Check them out=)

Beanie Cap Guy

xoxo

Who Me? Couldn't Be! Then Who?

Although grammatically incorrect, the title of this post is catchy... no?

I was sitting at work the other night engaging in some lovely conversation with my fellow naughty nurses at ye ole nursing station and someone (they shall remain unnamed) mentions my alter-ego... Mistress Auri.

I think my 'Work Auri' / 'Mistress Auri' lines are blurring slightly. Okay, a lot. I think I'm getting quite the reputation at work for being the 'it' girl when it comes to matters of the... well, ya know.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this... I think it's great! But you have to imagine me sitting there giving advice on how to spruce up one's sex life to my 50 year old nursing friend who has always considered sex as nothing more than a tool for procreation (that's making babies for those of you who didn't do so well on your SAT's).

I couldn't tell if she was just trying to get me to say something trashy or if she really wanted advice at first. Then half way through I get the feeling that she's actually listening to me and all of a sudden I'm thinking "OH MY GOD... I've got to give this woman some real advice here... no pussyfooting around about it... that would defile my good name!" So there I am... 4 something in the wee small hours of the morning (because that's all we do as night nurses... sit around and talk about sex) going through the ABC's of Mistress Auri's How To Have a Better Sex Life (yours for only $49.95)... and amusing the hell out of everyone, I'm sure.

Hey... sex is important people! If you don't think it is then I want you to do something for me. Go get in your car, get on a plane, on the tube, and go to your mother's house. Ring her doorbell (or knock). Kiss her on the cheek to say hello (because we mustn't be rude) and then promptly slap her across the face and shit on her door mat. Yup. I said it.

SHIT ON YOUR MOTHER'S DOOR MAT.

Because if you say that sex is unimportant you are saying that you think your mother is an idiot for having birthed you. (And if you can't follow my logic I'm sorry... I jump from A to Q often round these parts... )

Now you don't want to shit on sweet old mum's door mat do you? Of course you don't because you're a good little blogger (I mean person) and you know that even though you and dear mum have had your differences, ultimately she's probably a pretty good woman with some pretty good points and really you do love her.

That is unless your mom sucks... and then I'm sorry. We can't have it all can we?

I'm off point.

My point... aaaah, yes. I'm going to try not to be such a prude at work when it comes to talking about sex. Why should there be such a line between Work Auri and Mistress Auri? It's not like I have to talk to all of my patients about vibrators... I just don't need to get flustered when people mention my blog at work.

Alright then... maybe just a little prude? No? You guys are real sticklers, you know that!

But I love you...

Mistress A

Giardia (or La Guardia as my hubby calls it)

This, my friends, is the little bastard that has assumably been riding shotgun in my intestines for the last five days. Yes, you heard me right, FIVE DAYS!
I'm going to cry.
I didn't even get to take a fabulous vacay to Mexico where all Americans go to get said intestinal bug (usually). That, I could live with. Then I would have a kick-ass story to go along with the kick-ass 'other stuff'... let's face it... when it comes to sex I can divulge all the deets. However, when it comes to bodily functions I may be a nurse but this is not the outlet for that type of self expression. At least not today.
Come back tomorrow... I may change my mind. What!? It's been known to happen!

Funny story came out of all of it though... once again your favorite Mistress is going to turn a horribly embarrassing story into something very funny because therapy is expensive and blogging is free.

I head in to work knowing that I'm not feeling the best but I can handle it because I'm used to my guts being naughty. I was born broken, boo hoo. Anyway... back to the story. Round about the middle of the night things start to get really ugly.

REALLY UGLY

Instead of just the 'sit downs' (we'll call them) I start getting a little queasy so I think to myself "no big deal, I'll just eat a little rice and take it easy."

*EVIL LAUGH FROM BUG ABOVE*

I dart to the locker room thinking I'm going to lose it... false alarm. I just kneel there and pant for a few seconds. I think I just got cold feet because I didn't take a towel in the bathroom to sit on and I have issues with public restrooms... eeew.
So... few minutes go by... my sweet co workers are looking at me like I might implode at any moment- which is pretty accurate given the state of my intestinal tract and the evil passenger I have that's eating away the lining of my body and replacing it with mad amounts of inappropriate gas. (If this is your first time here... I'm always full of too much information so you have my permission to leave anytime).

*EVIL CACKLE FROM BUG ABOVE, DOWN BELOW*

I know this is it... I'm officially going down at work. How freaking embarrassing! So I grab a blanket and dart back into the ladies.

ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

LITERALLY

You know how you hear people talking about the spins. Usually happens when they've been drinking, right?! Well, I hadn't fucking been to Mexico, hadn't fucking been drinking, and I had the spins!! Then I get a case of the old ladies (hot flash) so I proceed to rip all my clothes off. Which would have been easier if I hadn't been such an idiot and worn a long sleeve body suit to work that day.

So, naked little me, not sure which direction is up, trying to put the blanket on the floor because god forbid I pass out on the floor on my bare skin!! (please say you're laughing now otherwise it's just pathetic)

Thankfully it gets better... Eventually I fell asleep and woke up able to discern my ass from a tea cup and a girl I work with drove me home.

How do I get myself into these situations?!

Oh ya... did I mention that was my New Year's Eve? So, how was yours?? =)
Much love,
Mistress Auri

Vlog!!!

The Girls from Ms. Salti on Vimeo.

As we were winding down from a lovely evening at Ms. Salti's new casa we decided to record the festivities with a little something for our friends out there in bloggy land. Hope you enjoy as much as we did!!

kisses...

What have I been doing?

We took the kids camping last week up to the Uintahs. We planned to be gone for 4 days but ended up coming back after 2. Seems like it was a bit lofty of a goal to take 3 kids camping that long on their first trip. Maybe more so for us than them?

Ms. Salti and I hung out the other night and watched a little So You Think You Can Dance. Of course there were tears involved. She was kind enough to paint my toes...


The kids and I have been visiting the hubby at work on the weekends here and there and occasionally he'll take us for rides on the golf cart... here's Tristan's face behind my new blinged out, way too pink toes, while we're riding on the cart.

This little garden of mine takes a good bit of time every day... just depending on how much damage the kids, wind, or weeds have evoked upon on it. I love working in the garden. It seems criminal to call it work. My favorite thing lately has been tomato and cucumber salad... mmmm. In this pic I paired that with the yellow squash fritters (or latkes) I made. Very tasty, despite what Alex from Cooking for Assholes says.


My basement is getting closer to done every day. The painter says he's priming tomorrow (we'll see) so that means only another 5 months (okay, maybe a week) and the painting should be done. Then the floorboards and carpet get laid. I just said get laid. I'm so clever.

You're lucky, that's about as much of a sense of humor as I've had all week. Now you see why I've been MIA.

My dad finished moving out today. That's been pretty rough. I don't really feel this is the place to go into it. But suffice it to say... between that and having my period I'm just not my usual exciting self today.

Sorry folks.

Maybe later;)

GOOD NEWS ON THE SPATULA CONTEST!!
I have chosen a winner!! I will announce the winner in my next post and will be sending their special spatula within the week! Who could it be??
Stay tuned to find out!!

Apparently I'm Confused...

There we lay in bed, cozy and warm. Aidan on my right and Trent on my left. Out of a deep sleep I jumped up from beneath the sheets and duvet screaming...

me: What time is it?! (frantically searching around as if I don't know where my bedside clock is located)
hubby: Why, what's wrong?
me: (finally locating the elusive clock) Oh man, it's 5:55 I've got to get ready for work! I get ready at 6. What's today? Is today Sunday? I work today!
hubby: Yah today's Sunday but it's 5 in the morning (sounding like he's going to disown me) so go back to bed!
me: (laughing) Oh! Sorry... I can't believe I just did that! Yah... I'm special...

And that, folks, is how I woke up this morning.

How did you wake up this morning?

I'm a Good Girl... Really!

Hello my lovelies. How are you out there? I was trying to think of something to write about today and nothing was coming to mind so I decided to just sit down and start writing... that works... right?
Last night at work was fun... busy, but a lot of fun. I work with a great group of people. I was having a conversation with the girls about a subject I happen to be pretty passionate about and everyone was really surprised and how worked up I could get. I guess the point is I'm a fairly laid back person the majority of the time.

Really.
(don't laugh, it's not polite and I know your mother taught you better manners than that)

But there are a few things I feel strongly about and I'm not afraid to argue my point. That doesn't mean I'm a bulldog about issues I know nothing about. That drives me crazy. Do your damn homework if you're going to belittle me! Have you ever been in an argument with someone who fights just to fight? They have not a clue on god's green earth what the hell they're talking about but they'll argue to the death just to gain control over you. You know that's what it's about, right? Control. I usually let them win... it's not worth it to me. If they want control so badly they can have it.
I just had to laugh though because people don't often see that side of me, the 'business Auri' side, so when they do they're always surprised. I guess I'm a little surprised too. I'd love to think I'm the kind of person that can whip that side out regardless the opponent but there have been occasions where I'm blindsided and it's not until after a conversation that I wish I had said something differently or handled the situation with more balls. I'm sure most of us have been there.

Okay, I'll stop being completely vague. A new baby is a really important time in a person's life. Whether they are keeping that baby forever, placing them for adoption, or whether the baby is a stillborn, the birth of a baby is a monumental event. Some people just forget that after a while. They get complacent, lazy, and jaded. It spreads like the plague and it gets under my skin. I'll stop there. Believe me... the rant is long and not as exciting in type (one of those 'you had to be there' kind of things). I expect people to tell me if I'm being lazy... I honestly do, not just one of those people that says it and then gets pissed off.
I had a boss once with this cool plaque above her desk that read "assume good intent". I try to keep that in mind. I make mistakes (especially when it comes to failing to communicate little things), I know... you're all shocked=) And so I really assume that when other people are in a slump here and there it's because they're having an off day, as we all do. It's just when it happens all the time that I actually start to get upset.

I wouldn't want anyone leaving with the idea that I'm some kind of perfectionist here... hell no.

Okay... I'm rambling. Which is not always a bad thing. But now I have to get ready for another fabulous evening at work. Hopefully not quite as crazy as last night (seeing as how I delivered a baby in the emergency room last night).

I know that we aren't all so lucky to be able to make a living doing the things we love. I absolutely love what I do. I love bonding with my patients and getting to meet their new little babies. The people I work with are complex, intelligent, beautiful, and compassionate. I would not enjoy being at work for 36+ hours every week if I didn't work with such incredible people.

I hope you all get a chance to do what you love and you know what they say...

"If you can't be with the one you love baby, love the one you're with."

My Rainy Day Afternoon

I generally wake up in the morning and feel ready for the day. I'm not an annoying morning person by any means but I have a good outlook on life. This morning it was stormy and cool. Strange for the middle of June in Salt Lake. Woke up to having my Babinski reflex tested by the hubby which is maybe my second least favorite thing next to having my cervix scraped at the doctor's office. My hormones are playing battle with my emotions and so my morning cup of coffee seems even more a necessity than usual today. All I felt like doing was curling up on the couch and being surrounded by little warm bodies. I had this strange need to find out what was going on in blog land as well. Not something I've been used to up until a couple of weeks ago. I've actually started caring about the people I follow and what's happening in their lives. People I know nothing about other than what they decide to share online. For all I know they're full of shit. I guess that's fine. Entertainment right?
My dad came in and offered to make coffee. He'd been out late the night before at a bachelorette party for a good friend getting married this month. He seemed just as much in need of coffee as I was. Bless him. I was sure there were messages on my phone as I had not looked at it since the afternoon before but I wasn't quite ready to interact with the world. My social skills hadn't woken up yet and I'm always worried that if I speak to anyone before 'nice Auri' is awake I might actually hurt the people I care about. I guess I'm feeling dark today. You couldn't tell could you? I'm so cryptic aren't I?
Strangely enough I feel very patient with my kids today. The weather leaves me in a cocoon. I want to read. I want to be touched, have my hair fondled, my back tickled. I don't want to have to yell at anyone for leaving the water on in the back yard or making the other bleed. I just want to be still today.
All the windows in the house are open and the breeze is only barely chilly. The catalpa tree out back is shedding the last of its fragrant white blossoms on the overgrown lawn leaving a white soggy carpet from the morning's rain. The ivy is growing over the window and swaying gently. The sky is still grey but off in the distance it is growing black. The mountains are covered by the pending storm and there are fewer cars on our busy street than normal.
I think I'll take advantage while the little one is down for a nap. Shed my heavy clothes and jump in a warm shower. Perhaps if I'm lucky my neighbor's blinds will still be closed and I can leave the blinds in the shower open so I can watch the rain as the water washes over my neck and shoulders.
I hope wherever you are and whatever you are doing today you are finding a little bit of sanctuary and peace in your crazy lives. I enjoyed getting all caught up on those lives this morning=)

Much love,
Mistress Auri

Hetero, Metro, Homo... Only Their Hair Stylist Knows For Sure!

I've been the daughter of a gay man my entire life (yes, my whole life... yes, his whole life... yes, even the 11 years my parents were married he should be considered bi at least) and so I think I've learned a little about the aura a gay man puts off. I'm not going to claim superior 'gaydar' here or anything... (okay, a little) but I will say that I used to be really good at this game.

About 5 years ago Ms. Salti and I started finding it very funny that my dad would comment that everyone was gay. Everyone. We'd see a hot new actor like Channing Tatum... "Oh he's so Gay, he's already talked to the mags, he's one of the boys." And just like that our nonexistent hopes were crushed. Damn. We started doubting his instincts a couple of years ago after everyone he mentioned started showing up with women left and right or married (not that that ever means someone is straight) and never a hint of a man anywhere. "Sure pops, right he's gay... whatever you say."

Time went on and the 'girls' (Odum is included as one of the girls seeing as he is a gay man and is adopted by a group of women and includes himself as one of the girls) took a trip to Vegas. Upon our arrival someone in the van felt the need to label a passerby on the way to the hotel as gay and I don't think it was Odum or I. I'm not saying their gaydar is less accurate (okay, yes I am... I know, rude... I still love them... but dammit I have to get something out of years of watching show tunes and being dressed up and sat in front of a camera!) but I would even hand over my tiara to Odum as the one who should be able to pick out a 'friend' (that's a friend of Dorothy for those of you unfamiliar with the gay reference).


Anyway... The rest of the trip we just decided that everyone and everything was gay. It was easier that way. The plane was gay because the wings tipped up at the end creating jazz wings, so obviously the plane was gay. That homeless man was wearing a pink sweatshirt so he was gay. That couple was holding hands in public (say it with me ) GAY. We had lots of fun.

So. Where is this going you ask? My dad and I are driving in the car the other day and he's talking about some dude at work the other day and how he was hot and then he says the words I've been waiting to hear my entire life:

"I can't tell whether they're gay or straight anymore! All the gay boys want to look straight. All the straight boys want to look gay. Who the hell knows!"

Well slap my ass and call me Shirley. He finally said it! There ya go folks. The king of gaydar has given up his tiara.

Good for him!

Have fun making them wonder... that's what I say;-) So, as his loyal subject I am going to give up my eternal quest to label people as well and leave the mystery to their stylist.

Because you know...

Hetero, Metro, Homo... Only Their Hair Stylist Knows For Sure!

Happy 8th Anniversary to Us!

8 amazing, crazy years babe. I can't believe it either. I love you.
Always & Forever
Yours,
Aurs

The Amazing, Tantalizing, Infuriating, Liberating, Vibrating, Flying Dildo... (as promised)

Okay... so I'm just warning you before you start this one... this is a true 'Mistress Auri' type of post. You'll be hearing lots of grown up words (as we call them in our house) and experiencing a very personal story from yours truly.

Duh.

Now that that's out of the way!
LET'S GET ON WITH THE GOOD SHIT!

You need a little history to appreciate my husband and I in the bedroom. We have a great sex life. My interests have changed over the years as far as foreplay are concerned but I've always remained open with him and communicated what I've needed
You should be impressed...

So... the only time I like him using his fingers for a little pre game warm up are when a) I'm drunk or b) I'm already warmed up. He knows this!

So... I wake up to him asking me to take the oldest to school because he's tired (and I'm not apparently)... okay fine... I'll be good because I want sex.
I come home and he's still sleeping (although in his defense he has folded a load of laundry in my absence...good man).

I climb into bed and the two youngest come down and knock on the door because they're hungry (I am slowly getting less and less interested in sex)

I get up from bed and figure I'll give them food... after all, that will buy us and extra 10 minutes and that means we may get to start of with a little oral sex for me... which is a fab way to start off the morning! (but again... why haven't they eaten in my absence? another unanswered question.)

Kids fed... but then my annoying female brain notices that the washing machine isn't going (I know... believe me... I'm annoying myself by now) and I start to get a little irritated that hubby didn't throw a load in when he took the other load out... because...

DUH...

THAT'S WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE!

on to the dildo part...

I get back into bed... slip out of the robe. He's out of his clothes now too and what does he do?! He sticks his hand right between my legs! SORRY! I'm just not a light switch... I have more than two functions!

So I pull away a bit and he gets pissed off. He asks what I want (so thoughtful of him!)... to which I gracefully reply with the tone of a trucker in heat...
"get on top of me"

Well apparently that's when the shit hit the fan folks! Because at that moment... He jumped up out of bed and stormed off into the closet.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Sitting there naked contemplating what just happened...
out of nowhere...

a large, flesh colored, veiny, supple, dildo comes flying out of the walk-in closet towards me on the bed narrowly missing my head as my husband is exclaiming
"Here! Use this! It's obvious you just want a dick to rub up against anyway!"

Well excuse the flying (dildo) fuck out of me!! I gathered the sheets up around me... slightly amused (thought I'd never admit that to him), horrified, pissed beyond recognition, and grabbed the very perfect (yes ladies... very perfect) dildo firmly in my right hand, gripped tightly and screamed and the top of my lungs... "That was rude! Don't you ever fucking do that again!" And with an extra squeeze to my good buddy whom I don't normally throw anywhere... I tossed that sonofabitch back into the closet with the intention of seriously maiming anyone/thing that it came in contact with. I'm sure that I'll be getting a call from the fast pitch coach any day now... they had to have heard that pitch at least 50 miles away.

Well... what came after is neither very exciting... nor really any of your business...
(yet somehow that all was... )
Suffice it to say that I am sitting here with my fab hubby writing this and I told him that I would be.
He though it was a lovely idea...

To bring the story back around. I went back in the closet later that day to collect my large friend and put him back in his house... couldn't find him. Didn't feel like asking hubby where he was yet. Oh well... I'd find him someday (or someone would...)

YAH...

YESTERDAY!
Sitting there folding laundry on the bed with the entire family... my middle guy, Aidan, comes walking up to the bed from the closet holding what?

OH LORD... NO... PLEASE...

Yes... just when you thought the story couldn't get any worse. He found it. He was swinging it around. He's like "what's this guys"... with a completely straight face my hub was like "it's a fake penis... what's it look like."

Now he won't stop asking about the thing. I paid $70 god damned for that thing and now after one awful week of bad luck with it I don't think I'll touch it again...

I need a nap

And maybe some Xanax

Fucking Fab (They're referring to me in case you were wondering)

Thanks Ms. Salti! Okay... so I really do like getting bloggy awards... who doesn't. I guess for this one I need to list 5 things I'm obsessed with. And although I've just said I'm not obsessed with anything I guess technically that's not true...
Here we go...

The Naughty Monkies... Did you know that every time Taryn gets her hair washed now she wants me to take a picture. The child is a star. Too bad Hollywood is so far away... or too good depending on your views on child actors. I'm obsessed with my kids. They give me crazy anxiety but I can't imagine life without them. They're crazy cool. I love 'em!

Yes... I am a Twilight Fan. And yes, I just capitalized fan... deal. Very, very, very excited for the movie to come out. I don't know if I'll put up with the midnight screaming teenage girl crowds the night it comes out. But I will definitely go to see it at least once in the theater=) And I'm with Ms. Salti... the book was much better the second time through when you weren't rushing through to get to the end!

You could say I'm obsessed with my hubby. In a very healthy most of the time/ unhealthy once in a while sort of way. Hey, we're not all perfect! We do try. Even when we're having a rough time I miss him when he's not around. I crave his company and his touch.

Two more things... this is harder than I though and I don't have any more visual aids...
(will they continue reading?)

AHA!
Thanks to the miracle of modern technology I can now show you my next obsession...
Ms. Salti. I know. Some of you who are new to our little world might think that's a really strange thing to say. But let's put it this way... she's my other other half, my heterosexual life partner (HLP) so duh! of course I'm obsessed. I just consider myself lucky to get the things I'm obsessed with.

And last but not least...

My crackberry...
yes, the damned dirty ape. Just kidding booboo kitty shitz. Mommy loves you. Even though I drop you every time I get out of the car. I know! Grr! What did I do before texting?! Who knows. Love the crackberry... If you don't have one I'm just warning you now... they're a pain in the ass to get used to but once you do...

YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

Deer Cupcake Award

The Rules:
Respond and rework.
Answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention, and add one additional question.

What is your current obsession? I think I'm getting rid of this question because I'm so lame right now that I don't feel like I'm obsessed with anything cool or worthy of being obsessed with.

Where are you right now? I am sitting on the love seat in my front room with my feet propped up on a pillow, several pillows behind my back, in Salt Lake City, Utah in the US (specific enough?)

Do you nap a lot? I take offense to this =) I used to nap a lot! I nap more than Erica and less than my almost 3 year old. I love naps... mmmm... it's the Leo in me.

What's one of your favorite movies? Mystery, Alaska will always be one of my favorite movies. Although you all have to realize that I have at least a hundred 'favorite' movies depending on the genre and the day. If you haven't seen Mystery, Alaska it's great.

What's one thing you're looking forward to? Being out of debt. I know there will be some form of debt around at one point or another... but the kind of debt we're in now is just unhealthy. It could be much worse though... I'm being positive (small voice in head is sinking)

Who was your childhood crush? Childhood Crush? Or first love... kind of the same thing for me... James Jones. Still good friends with the fam.

What is your current favorite Song? All American Rejects "The Wind Blows"... it's on the playlist on my blog if you want to check it out. I love it. Not often I fall head over heels for a song the first time I hear it but I definitely fell hard for this one. Like "Come Undone" by Duran Duran... same kind of thing!

What would you like to get rid of? Can't be redundant or I would say my debt... so I guess I would say the distance between my mom and I. We've always been in the same city and now she lives 11 hours away! Too Far! A girl needs her mother... especially this girl...

What in life are you waiting on? I think I'm waiting on life to get easier. I'm constantly thankful for what I have but I always find myself wondering when things are going to ease up a bit. It's a never ending wave these days. But like I said earlier... it could be worse!

What is your favorite thing to do on a weekend night? Toes with Tata (aka Ms. Salti) =) Especially if we have ice cream at cold stone and do toes!

Why did you start your blog? I used to write a lot before I had kids. Before I started blogging I started feeling like I had lost a lot of my creative drive with writing, music, etc. and I felt like blogging was a good way to express that again. A positive outlet for me as well as a way to get feedback from my friends.

If money was not an issue, what is one thing you would purchase for yourself? An Island resort (hey, money's not an issue, right)

What is your best feature? I like my eyes. Always have. No matter how I feel about the rest of me... I'm always having a good eye day=)

I'm Not Dead! Just Distracted...

Hello lovelies... Just a quick note to let you know I'm working on a couple of things... I've lifted my ban on blog awards because Ms. Salti was cool enough to give me a couple (and I guess I really do want to win the popularity contest)... I'll take pics of the veggie garden and tell you all about that... oh and I have a fabulous (very personal) story about a flying dildo and tears. So, there you have it.

Stay tuned

And yes...

I will catch up on every single post I've missed on your blogs... I know I'm a bad dog...

Just a little of this and a little of that

I woke up the other morning to another soggy carpet. I know... this time I just laughed and thought "okay... what this time." It was the sump pump that keeps the ground water from flooding our basement. And apparently after asking it to run consistently for almost two months now it decided to blow a seal and go kaput... yes, that's the technical term for what happened to it. Just in case you were curious.
So...
Yours truly went to Home Depot to return the one that dear hubby had purchased earlier to get a smaller and more expensive one that would replace the dearly departed pump. One more trip to HD later and I had the pump ready to go. Thought I had tightened everything that hubby had loosened when he took the old pump off... thought... anyway, plug the new beauty in and a couple of seconds later gallons of oily water are spraying all over the laundry room. All over me.
Freaking awesome.
I'm silently screaming in my head.
I'm not going to kill anyone.
I will survive... (channeling a higher power)
Okay... unplug the pump, clean up the GD effing laundry for the 5,000th time this month and tighten all the screws I can find. Try again.
SUCCESS!
So there you go... $200 later and another life story and I have a working sump pump to keep my basement from flooding. Life is restored for another 5 minutes.

No word yet from the radiologist about Taryn's arm... hopefully today...
Gotta go... kids are occupied and hubby calls=)
WOOHOO!!
xoxo

and just in case you're wondering...no, I've never had my undies fall down... on accident;) tee hee hee

I'm GUILTY...Put me in hancuffs...

Yah... I'm feeling a little guilty tonight. No, I'm not trying to win the popularity contest like my dad always says. It's just that I was really frustrated at work the other day so I vented about it this morning and now I feel like I just unloaded all of my shit onto everyone else.
oops.
Kind of icky. Yah. Well. Like the girls say above. Networking, right!? I'll be better about that... next time... at least you all forgive me.

So. I do love work though. Lots of babies being born lately. Tis the season. Spring and all. After a long day today I go back in tomorrow evening and then back the day after to teach a neonatal resuscitation course... so I guess I should go to sleep now. I just realized it's almost midnight.

Have been doing a little research on migraines and medications. I'm a little sick of feeling like a ditz on this medication I'm taking right now... go figure. Plus it makes my fingers numb (which is a pain in the ass for my patients when I'm trying to start their IV) so I need to switch meds.

My daughter informed me today that her 'gina' pronounced with a long i is "pretty cool" and she thinks she'll keep it. Thank God. I was worried she'd trade it in for a while. Whew.
I had to threaten the boys with separate baths tonight. We had to have the whole "we call them 'privates' because you don't touch any one else's but your own" speech tonight like 53 times and I'd just about had enough. The allure is strong. For the love of all things holy kids... keep your freaking hands to yourself!!! It's an uphill battle.
Anyway.
Bath time ended well. The children are alive and asleep. Tristan and I stayed up and enjoyed the chapter in Harry Potter about Felix Felicis (the potion that brings good luck) and I dig all the questions that he asks this time around! He's crazy smart.
Tomorrow we go to Costco to get his glasses!!! They were actually in Saturday but I'm a bad mother and waited this long to pick them up. yah..oh well.
alright... I'm going to bed.

Lesser of two evils?

I've been thinking of something for a while now, being a full-time working mom and wife with a husband that works full- time as well. Is it really better that we try to limit the amount of child care we use? Or are we just putting more strain on our marriage? There are more reasons than just altruism that we do it. Monetarily it is nice to be able to have a little extra money now and then to do things like, I don't know, buy groceries... instead of paying through the nose for daycare, but in all sincerity...
I often hear people make the comment "oh that's so good" when I tell them that we usually don't need daycare for our kids. I mean a friend that I work with comes and watches them every now and then when our schedules don't work out but that's not very often and not for that long. I was always of the opinion that I didn't have kids so that other people could raise them. That was before I had three kids who could all walk.
Thing seem different now. I almost feel that things might be better managed if we were all out of the house at the same time and all came back together in the evenings. You know... the 'traditional' way. The way 'they' used to do it. Maybe it's just more stressful for me being alone with the kids and trying to juggle housework at the same time. I guess it's because I'm also trying to do fun things with them too. I want to be the mom that gives them individual time and reads to them and helps them fall asleep by tickling their back. Instead I turn into this amazon that runs around the house yelling because everyone is in different corners trying to get my attention by doing crazy things. And I think the worst part is... I'm usually alone. The same goes for my husband too. When I'm at work he's here alone with the kids so I'm sure he deals with the same type of stuff.
There is a balance. I know there is. I hope there is. There has to be. I'm amazed that my mom was a single parent for as long as she was. I can't even begin to imagine what she must have gone through trying to raise me. I know I wasn't a crazy hellion by any means. But I was a fairly emotional girl. I guess it's only fair that I deal with some of that from my kids. I watch the women around me and try to draw from their strengths. I love strong women. What keeps them upright/sane? How do they balance their lives?
I know they've learned to let a lot role off of their backs. I'm getting a lot better at that. Especially being alone with three kids. You can't be everywhere at once so you have to learn that clothes are made to get dirty... kids can be thrown in a tub. Hair will grow back. I love all of those book titles that have become cliche now... "Don't sweat the small stuff"... "Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten"... stuff like that. I really think phrases like that come up more often for me on a daily basis than just about anything else. Oh and the golden rule. Can't forget that one.

So in answer to the question whether it's better to use daycare or not. Who knows? I don't. I know that I've done both. I probably will again sometime in the future.

I'm also not perfect. Thank God they forgive me for my imperfections and still love me. They know that when mommy has a migraine they need to be extra good and quiet otherwise I'll break. They seem to have ultra perfect days when all I can do is just sit there and love them constantly for how well behaved and beautiful they are. The house is never clean but who the hell cares? I try. If you come over I'll be sure to give the toilet bowl a scrub before you get here and wipe the toothpaste off of the seat before you sit down... but I can't guarantee that the syrup will be gone from the table...after all... we just had pancakes for dinner=)

These are a few of my favorite things

I know these pictures are a little old... August through December of last year to be specific. But they're kind of fun. Trent and I went camping for my birthday (but of course) and my dad came to watch the kids for us. We went up to the Uintah's to a little area called Murdock Basin where I spent a lot of time as a kid backpacking and fishing.
This pictures of the kids and animals is at a local place called Wheeler Farm. Really cool! It's completely free! You can take the kids there and pet all the animals, play around the park and in the fall go grab a pumpkin. The kids had a great time following the gigantic geese. I was surprised the geese didn't try to chase them (apparently they caught sight of Trent and I).
We had a pretty low key Christmas here at the house. We don't really get too done up on Christmas morning... as you could probably guess by the attire of diapers and jammies=). I really love the pictures of my dad and Aidan on the swing taking a nap... pretty sweet.
For Thanksgiving we had our friends Krystal and her sister Zandra over with her little girl. The turkey was pretty damn tasty (too toot my own horn) and it was nice to put the kids at their own table for once! It was the first time this year I had occasion to break out the good china too. That was passed down from my Great-Grandma... I'll have to photograph it someday... it's gorgeous!
Anywho...off to make mac 'n chili for the naughty monkies... not that I think they truly deserve a homecooked meal (or box cooked) after the display they put on today at Costco... but apparently the rule book states they must be fed... so off I go;)
xoxo
Miss A