Dear Lola,

Dear Lola,
Don't worry my love. I didn't forget about your question=) I'm just a really terrible blogger these days!


For those of you who read the post Dear Mistress... Lola asked me if there was any food that turned me on. This is a fun question. Technically there is a drink that turns me on. Patron =)

But of course! And how perfect that I'm writing this to you because (correct me if I'm wrong) but I think this might be one of your favorite drinky poos as well? I started getting the name
' Tequila Auri' because I morphed into a different person when I allowed myself to get a little tipsy with Patron. And let's just say that my libido ain't lackin' Lakely ;) Talk about a little social lubrication. However... I've had to swear off the shots and agree to mixed drinks when it comes to my dear drink of choice. Yes... that's right. Don't cry. Tequila Auri has had to learn to tone it down just a bit. Don't worry Lola. That doesn't mean that you have to as well. As long as you're wearing (or making him wear) a condom and taking care of yourself then you can have plenty of fun for years to come!!
As for a tangible (non-liquid) food that turns me on... I'm a little less picky about this. Me, less picky? I know! Don't tell anyone, OK! It'll be our little secret. As long as there was love while the meal was made, or passion while the restaurant was chosen (or hell, a babysitter so I can get a GD night out once in a while!) then I'm a pretty easy sell. If he pulls the chair out for me, compliments me on how beautiful I look, and maintains eye contact the food automatically tastes a little better. If he's an active listener during dinner and makes sure I'm enjoying my meal my panties are a little wetter. And if he puts his hand on the small of my back as he's helping me up you can guarantee that I'm hardly thinking about the dessert at the table but the dessert we're about to be having between the sheets.

So my dear...
There you have it!
Do tell me what your sinful delight is=)
I love a good story.

xoxo
Mistress Auri

Dear Hairy Gorilla (i.e. God of Sexual Fantasies around the world),

Dear Gorilla Bananas,
So you would like to know if I've ever had a sexual fantasy about an ostrich egg. Well, funny you should ask...

Last night as I was lying in bed, tangled up in my rich Egyptian cotton sheets, I found myself trapped between this odd dreamland and a strange sense of reality. As the focus began to shift from the wall to my long eyelashes I doubted whether they were eyelashes at all. Vines maybe? Palm fronds. Yes, that's it! The ambient light grew more diffuse and I awoke to my new jungle home. The air was uncomfortably humid. Just as it should be in the jungles of the Congo. Anyone who tells you that the air in the jungle is lovely and 'balmy' is feeding you a line and should be strung up. But I can feel my skin plumping up and my curls springing to life.

My thatched hammock is soft and gently swaying with the sound of the birds in the canopy and as I turn over I realize I am not alone. Nor am I clothed. How I came to be in the presence of a stranger without my clothes is a mystery to me. But why get my nonexistent panties in a wad, right? The stranger was a large male silver back gorilla. He seemed to be speaking in my head because I don't remember his lips moving. He instantly put my mind at ease and slipped me into his arms. He began running a rather large ostrich egg down my forehead and around my cheeks. His warm hairy chest vibrated underneath me with the ebb and flow of his breath. As the smooth egg found its way down between by breasts and nestled softly on my stomach I heard the thought in my head,

"The kitchen's just through there and the other females are about to get up so you better get a move on woman!"

Some dream! Hmph! I realized I wasn't asleep. My kids had brought the eggs in and put them on my stomach in bed. Time to get up sleeping beauty.

Much love my Hairy Gorilla,
Mistress A

Dear Mia,

Dear Mia,
First of all, so good to see your name pop up again! I've missed your playful banter! Now to get down to why we're all here... your question "If you only had 48 hours to live, what would you do and whom with?"

The 'whom' is easy for me. My husband, children, a few close friends that are considered part of the family, and any of my immediate family that could get here in the next day or so. Family and friends have always been my priority. Well, almost always =) I'm not a saint! But if I only had two days left with them I'd want to take in as much of them as I could.

The 'what' is a little more complicated. I would guess that's probably the case for most of us, isn't it?! If money were no object I would love to take off with them all to some private island. Some place in the Caribbean. Blue waters, lush jungle, warm water... aaaah, heaven! We'd be able to sit around and talk... laugh while sharing stories, maybe open up about things that have always been taboo. Then there would be time to just play! Nothing like a good day of playing to lighten your heart. Since this is a private island I'm assuming there would be a great chef present... what's a wish if it can't be complete with good food?!

I would hope that I could leave them with the belief that I had few regrets in this life. It's funny you ask this because I've been watching the entire box set of Six Feet Under these past few days and so I've been think a lot of death and finality lately and I think that there's no perfect answer to all of this. No 'right' way to look at it. But I think that if I weren't able to do those things I've listed above hopefully I'm living my life now in a way that would be a good reflection of who I am long after I'm gone.

Thanks for the question Mia!
Mistress Auri

Dear Mistress,

Let's turn the time over to you, my lovelies. I get asked so many questions these days (and honestly, I'm running out of brain juice to entertain you with) and I would love to be able to devote a blog post to each of your questions. I don't care what kind of questions they are... well, that's not to say I don't care, I just have no personal bias. Sex is always a fun one, gardening is second only to cooking and sex, questions about kids, relationship advice... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

I'm also kind of interested to see what's on the minds of my friends and readers. I know what you all blog about but that doesn't necessarily mean that's what you're thinking about throughout the day. Some of you blog about your families exclusively (and although I'm sure you're great parents, there's probably more to you than that!)

So... here's your chance...

Let's play...

DEAR MISTRESS!

And while you're thinking of what to write to me... here's a little something for your naughty enjoyment=) Thank me later!