I'm here to kick your ass and seal it with a kiss...

I'm feeling like I've found my superhero picture! All I need is to digitally throw on a couple of spatula there in holsters and I'd have my masterpiece!!

A little peek at my dad's book...

For those of you who don't know... my pops is a professional photographer and has been working on a book for about a year now. The other day we went up the canyon to shoot a few more pics to wrap things up...

Check them out=)

Beanie Cap Guy

xoxo

What have I been doing?

We took the kids camping last week up to the Uintahs. We planned to be gone for 4 days but ended up coming back after 2. Seems like it was a bit lofty of a goal to take 3 kids camping that long on their first trip. Maybe more so for us than them?

Ms. Salti and I hung out the other night and watched a little So You Think You Can Dance. Of course there were tears involved. She was kind enough to paint my toes...


The kids and I have been visiting the hubby at work on the weekends here and there and occasionally he'll take us for rides on the golf cart... here's Tristan's face behind my new blinged out, way too pink toes, while we're riding on the cart.

This little garden of mine takes a good bit of time every day... just depending on how much damage the kids, wind, or weeds have evoked upon on it. I love working in the garden. It seems criminal to call it work. My favorite thing lately has been tomato and cucumber salad... mmmm. In this pic I paired that with the yellow squash fritters (or latkes) I made. Very tasty, despite what Alex from Cooking for Assholes says.


My basement is getting closer to done every day. The painter says he's priming tomorrow (we'll see) so that means only another 5 months (okay, maybe a week) and the painting should be done. Then the floorboards and carpet get laid. I just said get laid. I'm so clever.

You're lucky, that's about as much of a sense of humor as I've had all week. Now you see why I've been MIA.

My dad finished moving out today. That's been pretty rough. I don't really feel this is the place to go into it. But suffice it to say... between that and having my period I'm just not my usual exciting self today.

Sorry folks.

Maybe later;)

GOOD NEWS ON THE SPATULA CONTEST!!
I have chosen a winner!! I will announce the winner in my next post and will be sending their special spatula within the week! Who could it be??
Stay tuned to find out!!

My Rainy Day Afternoon

I generally wake up in the morning and feel ready for the day. I'm not an annoying morning person by any means but I have a good outlook on life. This morning it was stormy and cool. Strange for the middle of June in Salt Lake. Woke up to having my Babinski reflex tested by the hubby which is maybe my second least favorite thing next to having my cervix scraped at the doctor's office. My hormones are playing battle with my emotions and so my morning cup of coffee seems even more a necessity than usual today. All I felt like doing was curling up on the couch and being surrounded by little warm bodies. I had this strange need to find out what was going on in blog land as well. Not something I've been used to up until a couple of weeks ago. I've actually started caring about the people I follow and what's happening in their lives. People I know nothing about other than what they decide to share online. For all I know they're full of shit. I guess that's fine. Entertainment right?
My dad came in and offered to make coffee. He'd been out late the night before at a bachelorette party for a good friend getting married this month. He seemed just as much in need of coffee as I was. Bless him. I was sure there were messages on my phone as I had not looked at it since the afternoon before but I wasn't quite ready to interact with the world. My social skills hadn't woken up yet and I'm always worried that if I speak to anyone before 'nice Auri' is awake I might actually hurt the people I care about. I guess I'm feeling dark today. You couldn't tell could you? I'm so cryptic aren't I?
Strangely enough I feel very patient with my kids today. The weather leaves me in a cocoon. I want to read. I want to be touched, have my hair fondled, my back tickled. I don't want to have to yell at anyone for leaving the water on in the back yard or making the other bleed. I just want to be still today.
All the windows in the house are open and the breeze is only barely chilly. The catalpa tree out back is shedding the last of its fragrant white blossoms on the overgrown lawn leaving a white soggy carpet from the morning's rain. The ivy is growing over the window and swaying gently. The sky is still grey but off in the distance it is growing black. The mountains are covered by the pending storm and there are fewer cars on our busy street than normal.
I think I'll take advantage while the little one is down for a nap. Shed my heavy clothes and jump in a warm shower. Perhaps if I'm lucky my neighbor's blinds will still be closed and I can leave the blinds in the shower open so I can watch the rain as the water washes over my neck and shoulders.
I hope wherever you are and whatever you are doing today you are finding a little bit of sanctuary and peace in your crazy lives. I enjoyed getting all caught up on those lives this morning=)

Much love,
Mistress Auri

Hetero, Metro, Homo... Only Their Hair Stylist Knows For Sure!

I've been the daughter of a gay man my entire life (yes, my whole life... yes, his whole life... yes, even the 11 years my parents were married he should be considered bi at least) and so I think I've learned a little about the aura a gay man puts off. I'm not going to claim superior 'gaydar' here or anything... (okay, a little) but I will say that I used to be really good at this game.

About 5 years ago Ms. Salti and I started finding it very funny that my dad would comment that everyone was gay. Everyone. We'd see a hot new actor like Channing Tatum... "Oh he's so Gay, he's already talked to the mags, he's one of the boys." And just like that our nonexistent hopes were crushed. Damn. We started doubting his instincts a couple of years ago after everyone he mentioned started showing up with women left and right or married (not that that ever means someone is straight) and never a hint of a man anywhere. "Sure pops, right he's gay... whatever you say."

Time went on and the 'girls' (Odum is included as one of the girls seeing as he is a gay man and is adopted by a group of women and includes himself as one of the girls) took a trip to Vegas. Upon our arrival someone in the van felt the need to label a passerby on the way to the hotel as gay and I don't think it was Odum or I. I'm not saying their gaydar is less accurate (okay, yes I am... I know, rude... I still love them... but dammit I have to get something out of years of watching show tunes and being dressed up and sat in front of a camera!) but I would even hand over my tiara to Odum as the one who should be able to pick out a 'friend' (that's a friend of Dorothy for those of you unfamiliar with the gay reference).


Anyway... The rest of the trip we just decided that everyone and everything was gay. It was easier that way. The plane was gay because the wings tipped up at the end creating jazz wings, so obviously the plane was gay. That homeless man was wearing a pink sweatshirt so he was gay. That couple was holding hands in public (say it with me ) GAY. We had lots of fun.

So. Where is this going you ask? My dad and I are driving in the car the other day and he's talking about some dude at work the other day and how he was hot and then he says the words I've been waiting to hear my entire life:

"I can't tell whether they're gay or straight anymore! All the gay boys want to look straight. All the straight boys want to look gay. Who the hell knows!"

Well slap my ass and call me Shirley. He finally said it! There ya go folks. The king of gaydar has given up his tiara.

Good for him!

Have fun making them wonder... that's what I say;-) So, as his loyal subject I am going to give up my eternal quest to label people as well and leave the mystery to their stylist.

Because you know...

Hetero, Metro, Homo... Only Their Hair Stylist Knows For Sure!

A little Earth Day fun at the Galavan Center

Sometimes I can be such a dud. Erica (Miss Salti) asked me last week if I wanted to go to a free concert at the Galavan center on Wednesday and I was like "I don't think so... we've got a lot of housework to catch up on". I'm boring, I know ...
Anyway... Wednesday night rolls around and she text me again to see if I'd changed my mind so I asked Trent what he thought because we actually finished folding the mountains of laundry that covered the the surface of our humble queen bed. He asked what time it was at and before I could get the words out of my mouth Aidan wanted to know if he could go wherever I was going. It was pretty much decided at that point.
So, we decided that just I would go with Aidan. I went down and asked my dad if he'd like to be let out of confinement for the evening on 'good behavior' since he'd been such a good boy lately and brought lots of good treats home for the family=) For those of you confused right now... my dad lives with us and I give him a hard time because he spends a lot of time in his room in the basement on his computer. Anyway...

Salti picked the three of us up and we headed downtown. The crowd was great. We've gone to concerts down there for a long time now and I've always enjoyed the diverse crowd that shows up. Whether you're a Dead head or a pop star you seem to fit right in. The music was great! We had a good spot to stand and enjoy watching the bands perform.
Did I mention that there were a lot of really hot people? I'm not just going to say men... I've always been able to comment on the beauty of ALL people and there were beautiful people aplenty there. Not that Erica or my dad were capable of noticing anything but the beautiful men that seemed to be surrounding us... giggle, giggle... but that's okay=) And they were freaking loud enough about it too! The women behind us were laughing about their dialogue! It was getting a bit x-rated for a while... I'm sure either of them would be happy to enlighten you if you asked (or don't ask, they'll tell you either way).
Oh yes... and heaven forbid anything should ever happen to my wonderful husband... BUT...
I found my next husband too;)
Spearhead was absolutely incredible... I'll have to dig up some background on them and blog later...
xoxo
aurs

These are a few of my favorite things

I know these pictures are a little old... August through December of last year to be specific. But they're kind of fun. Trent and I went camping for my birthday (but of course) and my dad came to watch the kids for us. We went up to the Uintah's to a little area called Murdock Basin where I spent a lot of time as a kid backpacking and fishing.
This pictures of the kids and animals is at a local place called Wheeler Farm. Really cool! It's completely free! You can take the kids there and pet all the animals, play around the park and in the fall go grab a pumpkin. The kids had a great time following the gigantic geese. I was surprised the geese didn't try to chase them (apparently they caught sight of Trent and I).
We had a pretty low key Christmas here at the house. We don't really get too done up on Christmas morning... as you could probably guess by the attire of diapers and jammies=). I really love the pictures of my dad and Aidan on the swing taking a nap... pretty sweet.
For Thanksgiving we had our friends Krystal and her sister Zandra over with her little girl. The turkey was pretty damn tasty (too toot my own horn) and it was nice to put the kids at their own table for once! It was the first time this year I had occasion to break out the good china too. That was passed down from my Great-Grandma... I'll have to photograph it someday... it's gorgeous!
Anywho...off to make mac 'n chili for the naughty monkies... not that I think they truly deserve a homecooked meal (or box cooked) after the display they put on today at Costco... but apparently the rule book states they must be fed... so off I go;)
xoxo
Miss A

PUSSY CAP SALE!

Yes, that's right my lovelies (and I'm so sorry I haven't posted forever) but my fasha (aka, father, aka beaniecap guy) is having a 50% off sale on his ENTIRE COLLECTION over at www.pussycap.com so you better go over there right now and stock up. He's doing a little 'end of the season' clearance so he can clean up his collection in preparation for next year. Yes, that includes you, Rob Pattinson... I know you read my blog religiously... I know you secretly desire to get your hands on one of my dad's pussy caps... so do it already! (snicker snicker)
A girl can dream...
Stay tuned... I have stories;)

I'm shameless and you love it!

I think it's a little funny that I've become one of 'those girls' that blogs about actors. Hmmm... I never really thought that would be me. After all, I grew up in Hollywood and acting was just another way to make a living. No big. Well. I'm proud to say that I'm on the bandwagon. Rob's bandwagon that is. I might just consider taking him on as a second husband... teeheehee.

I read his interview online with GQ and actually enjoyed it. I wish they would have put in a bit more of him and a little less of them... but what do you do? The pictures are stunning, of course=) I wonder if he'll continue to be one of those aloof actor/singer types or whether the void that is Hollywood will eventually suck him in.

Like I said... I'm a little jaded with the whole 'look at me... I'm famous' thing. Which is why I enjoy this lovely lad so much. I don't get that from him at all. It's refreshing. I know none of you are actually reading my blog right now (can't say I blame you)... you're just looking at the lovely pictures of our boy crush. Okay... he is a man... but still.

The picture above is probably in my top 3. I love close-ups. Especially when there seems to be so much emotion involved. Rob, if you wander my way in the blogging world... drop me a line k. (silently giggling to myself like a 12 year old)

I don't even know what to write... I have goosebumps.

Is it getting hot in here?! I seem to be losing my ability to form letters into words. Whew...

So... just a little advice to RP... from the daughter of a gay man. The lovely gay men of this world will rally behind anyone if the said person knows how to properly answer questions concerning all things gay. For instance:
example #1
reporter: "how did you enjoy doing that guy from behind in that scene?"
RP: "it was bloody brilliant! never been into men much in real life but I loved the chance to explore that side of myself!"
example #2
reporter: "masturbating in the corner while watching two men making love must have been a difficult moment for you to capture"
RP: "no, not at all! it was lovely watching those two beautiful creatures making love so passionately. it brought tears to my eyes."
I dare you to tell me I'm wrong.
Go ahead... I'm waiting. Just a little advice for your future interviews=) (laughing on the inside)

There are very few people in this world that I think make smoking look remotely sexy. #1 Brad Pitt... #2 Rob Pattinson.
Sorry... but I really just want to rip his clothes off there and be naughty. (ok, not really... I am married... but yah... kind of!)

Wow... wow... oh my... mmmmm... yikes... aaaah... ooooh....
Ok... I'm done=)

I Guess I'm Supposed To Go To Italy (Darn)

Yes, like a good little tourist back in 98 when I lived in Rome for 2 1/2 months, I visited the Trevi fountain and tossed in my coin before leaving. For those of you unfamiliar with the tradition... you are supposed to throw a coin in before leaving and that assures that you will come back some day. Now... after reading this I'm sure my father will comment and leave you the full story along with several variations... but for the time being... I'll leave it at that.

The Spanish Steps are incredible. Here they're shown without any people... but I assure you that regardless the time of year you'd be hard pressed to find these steps vacant. I was there in the winter the second time around and even in the damp cold of night there were a few hippies and street performers hanging around. Can I mention that I love the fact that people just sit around outside talking instead of sitting indoors watching TV?!

As my dad and I were walking through the Villa Borghese we came up to this statue of the Rape of Persephone. I remember vividly the feeling that these had once been real people and somehow the artist had captured them perfectly in stone. I love the way his hands make dents on her thighs... yummy!

The Pantheon... oh my memories of the Pantheon. Just down the road off the left side of the picture there's this little pub called The Fox. While I was there my dad was working as a Personal Assistant to a Producer on the movie U571... so meanwhile I got to play with all the young actors and people that worked on set. We loved this bar! I remember Matthew McConaughey lost his brown leather coat in that bar one night. He had it named (and no I can't remember the name) so he was going around asking if anyone had seen "name" and I think all the Italians were concerned he'd lost it. That's also where I met Joe C. A beautiful hunky man from Jersey with Italian roots. He was there studying abroad and let's just say that he's the reason I remember the Pantheon so well. I caught so much hell from my dad after that for making him wait in the car. Sorry popsie... a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Piazza Venezia is always one of those that the tourist busses drive you by... pretty fantastic. This is how Rome is. You drive around and every bit of architecture is interestsing, a million years old, and has some statue out front by some incredible artist. Oh, and I love the fact that you can still see SPQR on everything.

I know after hearing about U571 you're going to think I'm full of shit on this one... but we have a friend in Rome that is a Prince. This is his palace in which the family museum is located. It is called Palazzo Doria Pamphili... his name is Jonathan Doria Pamphili... how's that for a name?! So we're out to dinner with him one night at some little out of the way place and our waiter comes over and says something I don't understand to Jonathan. Then this paparazzo comes over with his camera and takes our picture at the table! I thought it was a little random so I ask he and my dad what that was all about. Apparently the paparazzi like to snap shots of him around town. I never saw the pic anywhere... perhaps I'll have to google and see if it's out there. More on that story some other time.

La Bocca della Verita... the mouth of truth. Not protected... you just walk around a corner and there it is. Legend says that once upon a time you would put your hand in the mouth and if you were lying it would eat your hand off. That's some serious fear/faith... I'd call bullshit right away;) I love the way the mouth is so worn from centuries of people putting their hands in it. Can you imagine all the people that have been there before? I know that's what was constantly on my mind while there... just the thought of how many people had been to each place before me.

They were cleaning the Colloseum while I was there in preparation for the Jubilee (year 2000) celebration. We were still able to go inside though... just around the upper part. I would love to take one of those tours where they walk you around down in the bottom where they would keep the animals and gladiators. It was definitely overwhelming. Talk about a lot of history staring you in the face. Crazy to think they used to fill it up with water...

Castel StAngelo was one of my favorite places mostly because of all the statues of angels surrounding it. The bridge that you see is amazing at night... also covered with angels and beautifully lit against the Tiber River.

So...according to my most recent poll the faithful readers of this blog feel that I should go to Italy. I'm happy to announce that I agree with them. When I'll go again... I don't know. But I can tell you that if someone presented me with a plane ticket right now... I'd take it=) Hint, hint... nudge, nudge. I was sitting here at work earlier explaining the origins of my name to my coworkers. We talked about when I'd lived in Rome...(twice)... and I can't believe that it's been so long since I've been there. Shame on me! While you're there it feels so otherworldly... it's hard to believe that as I'm sitting here in LDS Hospital... in Salt Lake City, Utah... Rome is still existing in all of it's glory. Lovers are making out in the Piazza Venezia... tourists are discovering the Spanish Steps for the first time. Hmmm... I'm jealous...

Guess I'll just have to go back;)
Anyone up for a trip??

He's Here!! (finally...)

My pops has arrived. After a long and miserable day of driving he showed up on my doorstep drenched in sweat from white knuckle driving in the fog and tired from a long day. For those of you who don't know the back story my dad stayed with us last year from August to about end of September. I think I got a little spoiled having my daddy/shopping buddy/morning person around all the time and have been missing him a lot since he took off for a job in Austin. Well, now he's back! I'm sure there will be a long list of people (the majority of my friends) who will be anxious to see him! Guess that means a...
PARTY!!
We're due... It's been since New Year's Eve... way too long by my standards. I'll keep you updated on that;)
Anyway, I'm so happy that he's back here. I never know exactly when he's coming or for how long he'll stay. All I know is how much I enjoy him while he's around

Wes Ramsey

I remember when my dad first told me about Wes Ramsey in the movie Latter Days that he was in with Steve Sandvoss. One thing led to another and he was photographing both of them. The first shoot Wes and my dad did together was on the beach out in Laguna and there was no denying he was beautiful. Over the years I'd never really heard too much more about him and then the other day my dad calls and says "Hey, I'm photographing Wes again, so keep your eye out for some new pics." So, I hop on his blog today to get a preview and as Odum likes to say "I think I just came in my pants a little." Okay, I know that was crass... but Oh My God! Wes went from being really hot to really hot AND my kind of man... If you want to see more pics and hear about the shoot my dad posted about it. He's beanie cap guy under the blogs I follow.

Apparently Wes is a really cool guy. Pretty down to earth, incredibly smart... you know... all those things that just make the men we love so much more irresistible. How does my dad do it? Well, I know how he does it... when you take amazing pictures and you're that much fun to be around, people flock to you.

Way to go Wes... you just made it onto my top 5 list.

Nekkers

My dad has been crocheting beanie caps for quite some time now. He explains them in much finer detail than I will... but you'll have to go to his page for that (www.pussycap.com) .

The Nekker that I'm wearing above is made of Cashmere, Angora, Baby Alpaca, and I think a little hand spun Merino. It's my favorite thing to wear! It's crazy versatile too...
He started crocheting Nekkers a little bit ago and so of course we had to do a little photo shoot to get them out there... I like to think of this as my aloof look...

You all have been telling me forever that you'd visit his site, buy his caps, yada, yada, yada... Now I'm going to be shameless and put the Nekkers up on my blog so you'll actually do it!


You didn't know I doubled as a model did you? Hahaha! I don't know that I'll be getting calls anytime soon to drop everything and fly to Paris... ho hum... guess I'll just have to stick with the nurse thing. Why are you still reading this? Why haven't you gone to http://www.pussycap.com/ ? Because you're afraid you'll find something you like and spend money?
Get over yourself! Go buy something that will make you feel like the Diva you are!

Pops

"Into the great wide open. A rebel without a clue."

My Favorite P's

Ms. Salti has carried on this tradition of taking a letter from the alphabet and listing the top ten things that you enjoy starting with that letter. I have my suspicions of why she chose the letter "P" for me... but we shall see=)

1. Pals... Nothing like having people around that you can snuggle with in your comfy's...

2. Pearl Jam... if you read my blog you already know how much I love these guys!

3. Popsie... Man I love my pops. Isn't he a good looking guy! I'd like to think I get a lot of my sense of adventure and spontaneity from him.

4. Penis (don't judge)... let's face it... if a good majority of us ladies didn't enjoy the male member... you wouldn't be sitting here reading this blog! Let's hear it for the Penis!

5. Pajamas... why aren't all our clothes as comfy as our pajamas? I don't know... but I love mine. Even when they consist of nothing more than my birthday suit=)

6. Posting... okay, no, I don't post with a typewriter (although that would be kind of cool). But blogging has really become a wonderful way to process my daily affairs and get to know those around me a little better.

7. Pot... although I don't smoke currently, it's not like I haven't. Should be legal... should be encouraged over tobacco... but for now we'll just say that it's a lovely drug if one chooses to partake.

8. Powder... I've only had the opportunity once to board in powder (though not this deep) and it was pure nirvana. Mmmm... apparently I'm supposed to have a powder howl... and someday if you're lucky you'll get to hear it;)

9. Photography... Thanks to Ansel Adams for allowing me to post this... not that he's around anymore... but thanks anyway! Having a photographer for a father, or a father for a photographer, I grew up with a love of the camera. Very much like journaling is for me... a way to relive the moments of your life...

10. Pregnant Bellies... Yes, this is my first pregnant belly with my Scuffers kitty on top. After I got over the puking, stretch marks, and all that other stuff... being pregnant was liberating for me. As women we're always encouraged to watch our weight, suck in our gut, etc... being pregnant is the one time in your life where a big belly is absolutely beautiful. It makes sense that I'm a labor and delivery nurse. The magic is not lost on me and I enjoy taking a woman through the journey of a pregnant belly to a new baby. And yes, I love rubbing pregnant bellies! But only if I'm given permission!

Why I need therapy

I don't want you to think I'm looking for sympathy here or anything... but I think I seriously need therapy. Today I was sitting at the coffee connection with the girls and Erica decides to get on my dad's web page (the one with the PA)... but wait... perhaps I should back up a bit. So we have a BBQ this summer... read more on Erica's blog... and my dad convinces Ben H. that he needs to get a PA. So he does. Which is fabulous. Especially for his wife Genni. So my dad wants a pic of Ben's PA... which, like a good daughter, I aquire for him. Then Erica notices he has put 'frenum' instead of 'frenulum' on his web page... which is technically okay... but not technically correct. So, he decides to change that on his page. Then he mentions that he just got a 'hafada' which I'm thinking is just some kind of new fancy jewelry for his PA... so we google it... in the coffee shop... and quickly come to the conclusion that a hafada is actually a ball piercing. Not as in "there is a bouncy ball on my jewelry" but as in "I have a piece of metal that goes through my scrotum"... Oh Lord. So... not only have I now seen my father's OO gague PA... but I now know that he has a scro piercing.

So you ask... "Auri, why do you need therapy"... to which I reply... "the primary topic of converstation these days revolves around my father's family jewels... you do the math"