Good lord it's hot outside

Oy Vey,
Did I spell that correctly? Let's hope so lest I piss someone off. Life is just about too crazy to try and sum up these days. Yes folks, the mistress is having one hell of a shit storm. But that's what life is right? Right!

So, not going to cry about it at the moment. Just going to sit here and blog about this and that. Like the fact that this idiotic tab key is refusing to cooperate unless I pound the ever-living-love out of it. It's like it wants to be beaten. Not that there's anything wrong with that. If you're a PERSON. But this is an expensive piece of equipment and I prefer not to beat it into submission. Catch my drift?

The garden is at least twice the size of last year. And you know how my attention wained last year round this time. Well... the garden is my happy place. I wander around the veggies and the fruit and I train the tender vines and somehow life has order and all is right in the world. And for a couple of hours each day I can breath and be calm. It's some pretty therapeutic shit... I'm telling you. Don't have time for therapy? Get yourself a garden. Unless of course you hate getting dirty, can't stand bugs, or have issues with prickly things. Then you'd pretty much suck at the whole gardening thing.

The baby business is going. We have our busy days as this is definitely our busy time of year. But we are a business after all and somehow beautiful things always have to be turned into businesses. Can you understand what I'm saying here? Let's just say that some days my work haven stresses me out to no end. But... I guess the rest of you are rolling your eyes and patting me on the back... telling me to join the club. No more bitching... it wears me out;)

My little monkey butts are getting so big! Taryn just had her 4th birthday! Can you believe it? My youngest is 4! My oldest will be in 3rd grade this year and my middle guy will be in kindergarten. Kind of crazy to see how quickly they're all coming in to their own. It's very rewarding these days. I've started writing down some of the more insane things that come out of their mouths... for example "No testicles for dinner tonight"... that's one of my personal favorites. As if we've every had testicles for dinner! Now liver, hearts, and giblets are one thing... but TESTICLES... that's just cruel;)

For those of you who keep up with miss Salti's blog she's better about writing about my life and the kids than I am. Then again that pretty much sums up our entire life/friendship together=) It's a handy thing.

Alright then you crazy beautiful people. Be good to each other. I know you won't do it because you misbehave constantly but before you go to bed I want to you think of 5 things you're thankful for.

If you feel inclined leave me a comment and let me know what they are=)
Auri

Vlog!!!

The Girls from Ms. Salti on Vimeo.

As we were winding down from a lovely evening at Ms. Salti's new casa we decided to record the festivities with a little something for our friends out there in bloggy land. Hope you enjoy as much as we did!!

kisses...

I gave in...

Hello my loves. No... I didn't give in and cut my hair. I love cutting my hair, that part was easy! I gave in and joined Face Book... ya, ya... you're all wondering what the big fucking deal is? Well, the big fucking deal is that now I've got one more way of trying to stay connected with all you people. It's pretty fun... I have to admit... I'm a little addicted to the crack they call Farm Ville. The girls at work got me hooked. Wasn't my fault. Talk to them. I'm weak. Blah, blah, blah.

So... crazy weather around these parts lately. One minute I've got the AC pumping and the next I've got my new Mountain Hard Wear fleece zipped up to my chin (yes I'm name dropping and totally bragging but it was a bday present and I'm allowed to brag now and then). Welcome to the land of the Great Salty Lake.

And yes... I use foul language on occasion. I'm not going to apologize. This is my blog and I put a warning on it. This is not a journal I'm keeping for my kids... this is for me (and you too baby... of course!)

So... I feel like a neglectful Mistress. But that's part of the game is it not?! You've all been very, very naughty monkeys and I'm punishing you! (I must be careful... it's very easy to enjoy the power trip a little too much and get lost in character).

Did I mention I miss Miss Salti? Well, I do. I might cry. She's gone from Monday to Friday every damn week and all I get are the weekends which of course she shares with everyone else (and herself). Where is she you ask? I'm sure she blogs about it... go read her.

So. I have no more Sookie books to read (ya, I'm a huge nerd and read them all in about 2 weeks)... no more True Blood to watch until next season... no new Twilight to read or watch...

WTF people!!?

I'm having withdrawals. Could you tell? No?
Then you are an idiot and it's time you were punished;)
(see how easy that is... you must try it sometime... very fun).

Okay. I'm just apparently rambling. I worked last night and got a two hour nap today. I've been setting up my Face book account and playing farm ville with the kids all day along while attempting to maintain my cool, keep them fed, dressed, and in the proximity of my property. I think I've had about all I can handle today. I could maybe handle a good stiff...

Oh well you know;)

till next time...

Mistress A

What have I been doing?

We took the kids camping last week up to the Uintahs. We planned to be gone for 4 days but ended up coming back after 2. Seems like it was a bit lofty of a goal to take 3 kids camping that long on their first trip. Maybe more so for us than them?

Ms. Salti and I hung out the other night and watched a little So You Think You Can Dance. Of course there were tears involved. She was kind enough to paint my toes...


The kids and I have been visiting the hubby at work on the weekends here and there and occasionally he'll take us for rides on the golf cart... here's Tristan's face behind my new blinged out, way too pink toes, while we're riding on the cart.

This little garden of mine takes a good bit of time every day... just depending on how much damage the kids, wind, or weeds have evoked upon on it. I love working in the garden. It seems criminal to call it work. My favorite thing lately has been tomato and cucumber salad... mmmm. In this pic I paired that with the yellow squash fritters (or latkes) I made. Very tasty, despite what Alex from Cooking for Assholes says.


My basement is getting closer to done every day. The painter says he's priming tomorrow (we'll see) so that means only another 5 months (okay, maybe a week) and the painting should be done. Then the floorboards and carpet get laid. I just said get laid. I'm so clever.

You're lucky, that's about as much of a sense of humor as I've had all week. Now you see why I've been MIA.

My dad finished moving out today. That's been pretty rough. I don't really feel this is the place to go into it. But suffice it to say... between that and having my period I'm just not my usual exciting self today.

Sorry folks.

Maybe later;)

GOOD NEWS ON THE SPATULA CONTEST!!
I have chosen a winner!! I will announce the winner in my next post and will be sending their special spatula within the week! Who could it be??
Stay tuned to find out!!

Toe Bling, Entourage, and What's Next...

I've been enjoying the outdoors lately so I've just been playing catch up today on your lovely blogs. You all are a funny bunch of characters! Ms. Salti and I have been going way overboard on the toe bling lately. No, this is not black... it's some deep dark plum color (I'm bad with the clever names OPI uses... ask her what it is) that I can't stop wearing. I love it. That's Season 5 of Entourage in the background of the very out of focus picture there. I've never watched the show on TV because we don't have HBO but Erica always provides the DVDs for me. This was a record... I watched season 5 in 3 days... remember I have a life? I love that show. Too fucking funny. If you haven't watched it and you enjoy good writing, naughty humor, and a little Hollywood drama... it's a good one to check out.

So... what to expect from Mistress Auri...

#1 Ms. Salti and Mistress Auri write toy reviews...
We are going to review what we have (which is a lot)... if you'd like to donate to the collection we are taking new (that's never before used, gifted in the original packaging) toys that you would like our opinion on because you are leery of trying them yourself. If you don't want to gift them to us because you are cheap you might ask nicely and we may purchase them because we are curious ourselves... but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. =)

#2 The First Ever Mistress Auri - Spatula Giveaway!!

That's right... I started out as Mistress Spatula and in an upcoming post you'll learn how one lucky reader will win my original pink spatula! Oh believe me... you'll have to work for it...

# 3 My very first harvest from the very first veggie garden in our very first house!!
I know, you can hardly contain your excitement. Well, I can't and it's my blog so that's really all that matters. Sorry, feisty today. I'm blaming it on the hormones. All of my patients do so why can't I? I'll be sure to take pics of the little lovelies and write all about them.

More to come... =)

My Honest Scrap Smells Like Roses! (honest)

My sexy bloggy friend over at Confessionsofasocialwhore, Mia Dickinson, tagged me and left me the Honest Scrap award. Thanks Mia! You're a peach. Which means you're lovely (just in case it means something not so complimentary over there in the land of Your Majesty).

"The Honest Scrap award comes with a caveat or two. Firstly, you have to tell your readers ten things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly, you have to tag 10 people with the award. Thirdly, let all the people you've given the award to know that they've gotten it (comment on their blogs or something). And finally, make sure you link back to the person who awarded you."

Just like to point out that Mia did not tell me that I got the award... which is usually not an issue since I'm stuck like glue to her fab blog... but... I got distracted by the lack of sleep and work schedule and happened to miss the one post in which I was mentioned. The story of my life. Oh well... I've made up for it now.

On with the honest scrap...
#1- I don't have any anal toys and I won't ever unless someone purchases one for me and then I swear I will never use it.

#2- I once had the opportunity during spring break in San Diego with Ms. Salti (when I was 17) to have sex with a gorgeous, extremely well endowed, black man and I chickened out because he was so big. Hello! I was still fairly naive and had no clue how that would work with this.

#3- I am now reading the Twilight series for the third time. I can't stop. It's like an addictive drug and I don't want to stop either. I'm almost embarrassed about it... but not quite (depends on who I'm talking to). It's all Ms. Salti's fault. Were it not for her prodding I wouldn't have gone to see the movie in the first place, never would have purchased the books, never would have gotten obsessed. It's a sickness. Please don't judge me. I judge myself (and my husband gives me shit enough for all of you, I promise).

#4- I have a total crush on Megan Fox. You know, the chick from Transformers. We just went to see the movie yesterday and I think she's officially on my "I'm not a Lesbian but if she were to ask me to be I might have to apologize to my husband and jump ship" list. Wow. I'm at a loss for words.

#5- On our first road trip together hubby and I had sex at just about every rest stop from here to Seattle. We can recommend our favorite to anyone caring to recreate the journey.

#6- There's a dark side of me that wants to yell obscenities and kick the shit out of random people being assholes.

#7- I have lived in Italy twice. Once when I was a baby for about a year and a half. The last was for several months while I was 17 and I got to hang out on the set of U-571 where my dad was working on the set.

#8- I have some cellulite on my ass. Fuck you, don't laugh.

#9- I have better orgasms than you do... (if you'd care to argue I dare you to prove it)

#10- I just put out multiple large bowls of beer. For the snails. Not to be kind. If you've missed previous posts you have missed that I tried to be nice before by collecting them and putting them in a little terrarium in the house but now it's war. They're eating everything in my garden and I'm pissed! I hope they enjoy getting sloshed before they die.

Okay... now to tagging others. 10 people is kind of a lot. Hmmm...

1. Jana- She's kind of new to the world of blogging and I can't wait to hear some of her honest scrap.
2. Sarcastically Bitter- A lovely nurse up in Canada... bet she's got some scrap up her sleeve.
3. Mr. Condescending- He's just beyond honest all the time anyway... but hell... let's see what he'll come up with.
4. Becoming Kate- She has plenty of stories and some crazy life experiences... tell us some more hun!
5. In the Head of Em- I've been there once or twice... maybe you'll be lucky enough to get inside?
6.The Trainwreck Chronicles- She's wicked, she's funny... she's also a bigshot now... so let's see if she really responds.
7.Noelle- Can you handle the truth from a 5th grade teacher? They're scary when they take their hair down...

Okay... that's all I've got. The other people either have already gotten this or don't post stuff like this on their blogs...

Fucking Fab (They're referring to me in case you were wondering)

Thanks Ms. Salti! Okay... so I really do like getting bloggy awards... who doesn't. I guess for this one I need to list 5 things I'm obsessed with. And although I've just said I'm not obsessed with anything I guess technically that's not true...
Here we go...

The Naughty Monkies... Did you know that every time Taryn gets her hair washed now she wants me to take a picture. The child is a star. Too bad Hollywood is so far away... or too good depending on your views on child actors. I'm obsessed with my kids. They give me crazy anxiety but I can't imagine life without them. They're crazy cool. I love 'em!

Yes... I am a Twilight Fan. And yes, I just capitalized fan... deal. Very, very, very excited for the movie to come out. I don't know if I'll put up with the midnight screaming teenage girl crowds the night it comes out. But I will definitely go to see it at least once in the theater=) And I'm with Ms. Salti... the book was much better the second time through when you weren't rushing through to get to the end!

You could say I'm obsessed with my hubby. In a very healthy most of the time/ unhealthy once in a while sort of way. Hey, we're not all perfect! We do try. Even when we're having a rough time I miss him when he's not around. I crave his company and his touch.

Two more things... this is harder than I though and I don't have any more visual aids...
(will they continue reading?)

AHA!
Thanks to the miracle of modern technology I can now show you my next obsession...
Ms. Salti. I know. Some of you who are new to our little world might think that's a really strange thing to say. But let's put it this way... she's my other other half, my heterosexual life partner (HLP) so duh! of course I'm obsessed. I just consider myself lucky to get the things I'm obsessed with.

And last but not least...

My crackberry...
yes, the damned dirty ape. Just kidding booboo kitty shitz. Mommy loves you. Even though I drop you every time I get out of the car. I know! Grr! What did I do before texting?! Who knows. Love the crackberry... If you don't have one I'm just warning you now... they're a pain in the ass to get used to but once you do...

YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

Deer Cupcake Award

The Rules:
Respond and rework.
Answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention, and add one additional question.

What is your current obsession? I think I'm getting rid of this question because I'm so lame right now that I don't feel like I'm obsessed with anything cool or worthy of being obsessed with.

Where are you right now? I am sitting on the love seat in my front room with my feet propped up on a pillow, several pillows behind my back, in Salt Lake City, Utah in the US (specific enough?)

Do you nap a lot? I take offense to this =) I used to nap a lot! I nap more than Erica and less than my almost 3 year old. I love naps... mmmm... it's the Leo in me.

What's one of your favorite movies? Mystery, Alaska will always be one of my favorite movies. Although you all have to realize that I have at least a hundred 'favorite' movies depending on the genre and the day. If you haven't seen Mystery, Alaska it's great.

What's one thing you're looking forward to? Being out of debt. I know there will be some form of debt around at one point or another... but the kind of debt we're in now is just unhealthy. It could be much worse though... I'm being positive (small voice in head is sinking)

Who was your childhood crush? Childhood Crush? Or first love... kind of the same thing for me... James Jones. Still good friends with the fam.

What is your current favorite Song? All American Rejects "The Wind Blows"... it's on the playlist on my blog if you want to check it out. I love it. Not often I fall head over heels for a song the first time I hear it but I definitely fell hard for this one. Like "Come Undone" by Duran Duran... same kind of thing!

What would you like to get rid of? Can't be redundant or I would say my debt... so I guess I would say the distance between my mom and I. We've always been in the same city and now she lives 11 hours away! Too Far! A girl needs her mother... especially this girl...

What in life are you waiting on? I think I'm waiting on life to get easier. I'm constantly thankful for what I have but I always find myself wondering when things are going to ease up a bit. It's a never ending wave these days. But like I said earlier... it could be worse!

What is your favorite thing to do on a weekend night? Toes with Tata (aka Ms. Salti) =) Especially if we have ice cream at cold stone and do toes!

Why did you start your blog? I used to write a lot before I had kids. Before I started blogging I started feeling like I had lost a lot of my creative drive with writing, music, etc. and I felt like blogging was a good way to express that again. A positive outlet for me as well as a way to get feedback from my friends.

If money was not an issue, what is one thing you would purchase for yourself? An Island resort (hey, money's not an issue, right)

What is your best feature? I like my eyes. Always have. No matter how I feel about the rest of me... I'm always having a good eye day=)

Aw Shucks! I'm Adorable!

The ♥Adorable♥ Blog Award Rules:

♥Include the award logo in your blog or post.

♥Nominate as many blogs as you like.

♥Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

♥Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

♥Share the l♥ve and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

First I just want to say thanks to my best bud Erica for resurrecting me from the blog award cemetery. That was sure nice of you;) I'm glad you think my blog is adorable! I probably wouldn't have the motivation to start one if it wasn't for you! So, in turn I'm nominating a couple of fab people...

Jana Waddoups with her great new blog "The Waddoups Family" all about her cute little family and the adventures of being a new mom.

Petra over at The Wise Young Mommy because she is just crazy adorable and I love reading her posts!

And I think that's about it for now...

And by the way... you should all be super impressed that I learned how to link... hopefully it worked;)

Online Dating...

After the dickhead that Ms. Salti just had to put up with I don't know how those of you out there do it... online dating...

Man... I thought old fashion dating was hard...

If you haven't heard the story yet... go read it.
Anyway, there are creeps everywhere. Men. Women. Doesn't matter. I think being a creep is an equal opportunity type of thing. Maybe because I think I've been on both sides of the coin. I wasn't ever one just for fun. But I was definitely a tease back when I didn't realize it wasn't a very nice thing to do.

I was confused. Sue me.

And maybe picking people up in a bar or in person is just as tough for some people as online dating is? I don't know... I tend to have a better sense for what people are going to be like in person. Whether I chose to listen to that sense or not was a different matter. Sometimes they were just too hot...
or their lips were too kissable...
or they had bedroom eyes...
or they smelled really good...

(is it hot in here?)

I digress...
Anyway... I'm getting frustrated for Erica. And I'm getting more than a little pissed off at the male population that seems to be lurking on these online dating sites. I'm sure there are plenty of great guys on them too... but for some reason she's getting more than her fare share of the assholes.
So how do all of those happy couples on the commercials meet? Do they have rules on the sites? Can you submit complaints when they keep sending you people that don't 'match' you? I don't know... all seems a little sketchy...
And... THEY'RE FREAKING EXPENSIVE! Wow! Why didn't I think of that idea first? Maybe I'll suggest she do that dinner thing.
At least she'd get a nice meal out of the thing.
Hmmm... wait a minute...

the wheels are turning...

maybe I'll start a dating service? A sex toy party/dinner dating service. Doesn't that sound like fun?
Yah, come to a nice restaurant for a great dinner. Be entertained by moi (and hubby) who would be selling toys... maybe... at some dinners, at others maybe we just do wine tastings... then get to meet new people.
AND... we would have people there who would all be compatible with each other in several ways.
Hmmm... could work.
Don't steal my idea. When I'm tired of nursing I might just do it=)
Well... I'm rambling now... good luck to my single friends out there. I love you all.
aurs

Two Tasty Treats...

After a long and fabulous day at work yesterday Ms. Salti picked me up and after getting changed we went to get Noelle and headed out to dinner. We weren't sure where we wanted to go so they both suggested Settebella downtown... a new Italian pizza spot... and good lord! Wow... I'm having a hard time coming up with adjectives worthy to describe how good it was.
The place is cute. Small and joined with a gelateria next door. We started out with a simple but delicious mixed green salad with balsamic and olive oil. Then had their margherita pizza. The pizza tasted exactly like this little spot my dad and I used to go by the place we stayed in Rome. Very good. The gelato was good. I'm a bit glutenous when it comes to gelato. I want mine packed with enough cream that it sticks to the roof of my mouth for an hour after. This was probably a little on the healthier side... ho hum=(
Anyway... I didn't think I'd be able to move after that. Did I mention we shared a bottle of delicious Pinot Noir? Yah... then my cute hubby was feeling frisky when I got home. I wasn't sure how that would work seeing how I felt 5 month pregnant with a pizza baby... but somehow we managed=)

This morning while the kids were waiting for Sponge Bob to come on I turned the channel to VH1 because out of some miracle they were actually playing music. After the top 20 there was this show called Free Radio. Apparently it's been on for a little bit but it's absolutely hilarious! It's a bit of a mix between improv and real interviews with all of these guest stars that they have on and then there's somewhat of a scripted cast that fills in the rest of the show.
All of the full episodes are on VH1 online... seriously... go check a few out. Very clever. I like the female host on the show. She kind of reminds me of a brunette Bonnie Hunt.

So those are my two tasty treats for the day... a new restaurant and a new show. See why I don't watch TV anymore!? I always get hooked to something when I do watch. Best if I just stick to my books!
By the way... am loving Darkly Dreaming Dexter! The show has apparently done an excellent job of sticking to the book because they are very similar. I enjoy reading it though... I look at it like a special feature. Anyway... for those of you that enjoy the darker side of humor... it's a must read! If you're one of those people that thinks the movie always ruins the book though... go watch a few episodes of Dexter first so that you can appreciate just how brilliant the show is... then go read the book;)
Oh and have I mentioned that my inner teenager is having Twilight withdrawals? I know... you can laugh if you want to... I'll only cry later when I'm trying to fall asleep...
Oh, one more thing. I still haven't freaking put my vegetable garden together and mother's day is coming up!! A clone is sounding more desirable all the time.

A little Earth Day fun at the Galavan Center

Sometimes I can be such a dud. Erica (Miss Salti) asked me last week if I wanted to go to a free concert at the Galavan center on Wednesday and I was like "I don't think so... we've got a lot of housework to catch up on". I'm boring, I know ...
Anyway... Wednesday night rolls around and she text me again to see if I'd changed my mind so I asked Trent what he thought because we actually finished folding the mountains of laundry that covered the the surface of our humble queen bed. He asked what time it was at and before I could get the words out of my mouth Aidan wanted to know if he could go wherever I was going. It was pretty much decided at that point.
So, we decided that just I would go with Aidan. I went down and asked my dad if he'd like to be let out of confinement for the evening on 'good behavior' since he'd been such a good boy lately and brought lots of good treats home for the family=) For those of you confused right now... my dad lives with us and I give him a hard time because he spends a lot of time in his room in the basement on his computer. Anyway...

Salti picked the three of us up and we headed downtown. The crowd was great. We've gone to concerts down there for a long time now and I've always enjoyed the diverse crowd that shows up. Whether you're a Dead head or a pop star you seem to fit right in. The music was great! We had a good spot to stand and enjoy watching the bands perform.
Did I mention that there were a lot of really hot people? I'm not just going to say men... I've always been able to comment on the beauty of ALL people and there were beautiful people aplenty there. Not that Erica or my dad were capable of noticing anything but the beautiful men that seemed to be surrounding us... giggle, giggle... but that's okay=) And they were freaking loud enough about it too! The women behind us were laughing about their dialogue! It was getting a bit x-rated for a while... I'm sure either of them would be happy to enlighten you if you asked (or don't ask, they'll tell you either way).
Oh yes... and heaven forbid anything should ever happen to my wonderful husband... BUT...
I found my next husband too;)
Spearhead was absolutely incredible... I'll have to dig up some background on them and blog later...
xoxo
aurs

This is not a blog award...

So Miss Salti... I will play along with your wily games because I like ya! But no one else! teeheehee...
The name of the game here is to post 7 things that make you happy. I figure that's a worthwhile cause.
1. Getting to go grocery shopping alone with my hubby
(if you are without children then you won't truly understand the gravity of this statement until you have some of your own). I always hate excluding people who don't have kids... but let me say that grocery shopping can be kind of fun when you have time to just mosey through the isles. There's the occasional ass grab as a member of the shopping party bends over to grab something off the bottom shelf. You can make dirty gestures with the veggies... stuff like that=)
2. An empty sink AND an empty dishwasher
translation: someone other than myself has been putting dishes away and that is just too fabulous for words. Not that I mind it all that much... but it's a tasty treat.
3. Dark chocolate
There's this really hot, very sweet, kind of dorky, guy that works for a certain Italian deli here in SLC. He does classes for random things like cheese, chocolate, olive oil... well I've taken his cheese and chocolate classes and I love him, oops I mean them. Anyway... he helped me strengthen my love and appreciation for dark chocolate. Thanks Troy.
4. Getting lost in a good book
I absolutely love discovering new worlds in books. I get so lost in my head imagining what I'm reading. I sometimes refer to books as my version of Prozac. Who's with me?!
5. A good orgasm
(you ask what's the difference between an 'o' and a 'good o'? well... there's a difference. And for the nominal fee of $50 a month I'll tell ya all about it.
6. Erica (aka Miss Salti)
aww shucks... I know. What's left to say? I don't know. She's my other 'other' half. I get cranky when she's not around. And I probably don't appreciate her enough when she is around. She's the only person I feel like talking to regardless of my mood. (and that doesn't mean I love the rest of you any less). She makes me happy. Oh ya, and she makes my toes beautiful... so what's not to love?
7. My hubby
As much as he drives me crazy he also drives me wild. I can't imagine a world without him in it. He makes me happy in such subtle ways that I don't realize why I'm unhappy until he is. That makes no sense... but that's alright. I can totally be myself with him. He's helped me become the person I am today.

Okay... I'm finally hooked

I can't tell you how long my friends and patients have been trying to get me to read these books. I think the first time I saw one was at the hospital. Our security receptionist was reading it and I remember giggling to myself thinking "Anne Rice's vampires are the only ones for me." Well... now two years later I've finally given in... and man am I glad. Erica's been reading them for a while and finally we decided to go to the movie together one Sunday evening. After the movie I had to go pick up the first two books... yes, 'had' to. She warned me that it might take 60 pages or so to get into Twilight... not the case. As soon as I started reading I fell in love with the characters and writing style. It flowed so beautifully and was so easy to read. Stirring up all of those memorable teenage emotions of first love and lust that I've stopped thinking about constantly over the years.

As soon as I was done with Twilight (maybe a couple of days because I had to work...) I picked up New Moon and began reading that. I'm a little embarassed to say that I finished it that day. What! I didn't have to work... and the kids were being surprisingly good. Made it easier. I enjoyed the story. I love all of the history in this book. Feels like everyone is telling you their background. Yes... like the rest... I missed Edward's presence throughout... but I feel like it just made you crave his character even more.
Apparently after the book was done I was moping around the house because I wasn't "allowed" to buy the next til payday. My dad went out to run a few errands... because he's living with us now... and lo and behold came back with the third book...

Eclipse... I enjoyed this as well... but I have to admit there were times I found myself rolling my eyes at Bella's character. Just little immature things that she was doing that I couldn't necessarily relate with but for the sake of the story... I understood why they were there. I tried to read a little slower (given my monetary restrictions!) but that didn't work out so well. So... here I am... no book to read=( Don't cry for me... a friend at work is bringing me my next crack installment tonight at work. Whew! I'm looking forward to it. They've been a nice escape. Maybe I'll go catch up and read the draft of Midnight Sun on her website? I love when she writes as Edward... it just flows better=) Okay... and I love being inside his mind;)
Consider me bitten...

GIRL'S NIGHT!!!

I am so excited for my girls night tonight that I can't stand it!! I'm not sure if I should wear the outfit above... I'm thinking that it's a bit cold... for the weather outside is frightful! Let's see if I can remember to take pictures. Oh hell, I'll just remind Erica to bring her camera and we'll take pictures with that=)
More later on girl's night...

My Favorite P's

Ms. Salti has carried on this tradition of taking a letter from the alphabet and listing the top ten things that you enjoy starting with that letter. I have my suspicions of why she chose the letter "P" for me... but we shall see=)

1. Pals... Nothing like having people around that you can snuggle with in your comfy's...

2. Pearl Jam... if you read my blog you already know how much I love these guys!

3. Popsie... Man I love my pops. Isn't he a good looking guy! I'd like to think I get a lot of my sense of adventure and spontaneity from him.

4. Penis (don't judge)... let's face it... if a good majority of us ladies didn't enjoy the male member... you wouldn't be sitting here reading this blog! Let's hear it for the Penis!

5. Pajamas... why aren't all our clothes as comfy as our pajamas? I don't know... but I love mine. Even when they consist of nothing more than my birthday suit=)

6. Posting... okay, no, I don't post with a typewriter (although that would be kind of cool). But blogging has really become a wonderful way to process my daily affairs and get to know those around me a little better.

7. Pot... although I don't smoke currently, it's not like I haven't. Should be legal... should be encouraged over tobacco... but for now we'll just say that it's a lovely drug if one chooses to partake.

8. Powder... I've only had the opportunity once to board in powder (though not this deep) and it was pure nirvana. Mmmm... apparently I'm supposed to have a powder howl... and someday if you're lucky you'll get to hear it;)

9. Photography... Thanks to Ansel Adams for allowing me to post this... not that he's around anymore... but thanks anyway! Having a photographer for a father, or a father for a photographer, I grew up with a love of the camera. Very much like journaling is for me... a way to relive the moments of your life...

10. Pregnant Bellies... Yes, this is my first pregnant belly with my Scuffers kitty on top. After I got over the puking, stretch marks, and all that other stuff... being pregnant was liberating for me. As women we're always encouraged to watch our weight, suck in our gut, etc... being pregnant is the one time in your life where a big belly is absolutely beautiful. It makes sense that I'm a labor and delivery nurse. The magic is not lost on me and I enjoy taking a woman through the journey of a pregnant belly to a new baby. And yes, I love rubbing pregnant bellies! But only if I'm given permission!

Our Holiday Party

And no, I'm not saying holiday to be politically correct... I'm saying holiday because I think I have one or two friends who celebrate more than Christmas and I thought we'd celebrate every body's holidays, not just the one I grew up with.

Whew, now that that's out of the way...


I think I should just start by saying that we have such fabulous parties! I can't take all the credit. If the people were shithead's that came to our parties they wouldn't be fun. If I tried to over plan the parties they wouldn't be as much fun. I just figure that I invite a lot of great people, tell them to invite their great people... and add a lot of alcohol=) As I've said before, isn't alcohol fun?


I don't think you have to be drinking to enjoy our parties though... but I wouldn't know... so ask someone who wasn't drinking if they had fun! I think the kids would say yes.


As a testament to what a great photographer Erica is... I don't think I have many pictures of this party because she wasn't taking them religiously like she often is. What was she thinking? Perhaps she was having too much fun to take pictures? Or she was too busy feeling queasy to hold a camera? I'm not sure which... but we can ask her later.


As the party started dying down in numbers it got stronger through liquor. Matt pulled out my unopened bottle of Patron from Vegas and challenged Rory, Ben, Genny, Krystal, Trent, and I to a shot. Well, you all now how difficult it is for me to take a shot of Patron=) hahaha. It was a party, and party we did.

Merry Christmas!
Happy Chanukah!
Happy Kwanzaa!
Happy Festivus (for the rest of us)!

Viva Las Vegas!

No ranting tonight... sorry kids. Since I know Salti will more than tell the story of Vegas... I'll save you all the details. What? You say you'd like to hear my version of the story?? Oh you are too kind. Well, okay. But it'll be short, sweet, and to the point.

WHAT HAPPENED IN VEGAS, STAYS IN VEGAS... AND IF SALTI DIVULGES TOO MUCH I SWEAR I'M GOING TO BEAT HER.

How about a picture montage? Everyone enjoys pictures, right?!

Here's Salti and I under the gorgeous evergreen arch in the Atrium at the Bellagio

Oh how embarrassing! I put a picture of my shower on here;) Just playing with ya... part of the chocolate fountain at the Bellagio

Because Erica is such a thoughtful birthday girl she attempted to give us all lap dances at the Carnival Court....The bar outside of Harrah's

Oh Miss Rose, you're so sassy! This was also at Carnival Court where Rose used her charms to snag many a beautiful man to surround us...
So, you'll notice that's a penny in my hand...Let's just say that I was going to throw it down someones trousers that were half way down their crack!!

Here's the other b-day girl, Noelle, looking tres sassy in this fab hat we found! I'm sure the vendor was like "buy it or stop trying it all on ladies!" We were having fun... and that's what girls do!

Odum's going to kill me for putting a pic on here where his eyes are closed, but this is just too cute of a picture not to share. Lisa, Odum, and Holly. Just for the record... Holly is a freaking party animal.

Here's me in my new Hollywood sunglasses (and yes, I wear them at night) and my $10 margarita! I can't believe I spent $10 on a drink either... oh well, the price we'll pay for a little social lubricant.

This is hands down my favorite pic of Rose and I from the trip! I think we were rubbing boobies... what's there to say? It was hot!

I grabbed this cute little policeman and "made" him pose with us. I'd like to see him try and wrestle any of us into handcuffs... no really, I think I might pay money for that. We seemed to be making friends with all of the security at the bar.

They couldn't get enough of the mojo, baby!

See... I don't think this security guard REALLY needed to frisk Holly... I think he WANTED to frisk her! hahaha! Such a bad girl!Tata in her new glasses. You look so fab woman! No wonder senior Joseph wanted a piece of the Salti pie;)

So we're all sitting there and we see these two crazy cats walk by so Erica grabs them for a pic, which they were happy to oblige. We come to know them as "Starsky and Hutch"... more in a few pics...

This is my favorite picture now of Odum and I! Doesn't he have the most incredible smile!? Major props for coming to the "straight" bar... turns out you can have fun anywhere you go as long as you take the party with you. Love you Odie!

I knew I was going to love Lisa from the first time we met at Rose's b-day party! And sure enough, I was right. I think we affectionately became known as the MILF's (a title I'm quite proud of!). Here we are looking particularly lovely... trying desperately to fend off the many callers... hahaha!

Okay, so their names aren't really Starsky and Hutch, Duh! The dark one (as Rose calls him) is Mike, and the light one is Greg... his younger brother. They were there celebrating grandma's 70th b-day (thus the 70's attire)... Talk about working the party. I wonder what Mike is looking at?

Oh... that's what he was looking at! There was this hot young blonde that was smitten with him. Not that we could blame her. I swear I didn't take this picture... but the whole group was having fun watching her molest him!

Here's the local B boy... I think I'd had a bit to drink because I was trying to dance like him. He was doing a much, much, much better job than I...

I tried to stay away... but apparently there was just too much fun to be had;) I love that these guys not only dressed up... but completely took on the persona of sleazy 70's porn stars! Seriously! Check out the look on their faces. Priceless!

I'm not sure how my legs always end up wrapped around people... but who better to be wrapped around than my new lover Holly! Ok, she's not really my lover... but she's sure a good snuggler/party animal!

I think it's safe to say that Rose and I are obsessed with our boobs. Then again, if I were you I'd be obsessed with my boobs too=) ???

I would like to say, for the record, that although I am on the end of this train, and my leg is once again wrapped around someone, I do not think I caused a gay man to molest a straight woman. Although that would be like some kind of superpower I think.

Any thoughts on a name?

By this point in the evening I had tried to find women for Mike and Greg numerous times! Tell me I'm lying! But we were just having too much fun to be split up. I think my leg is wrapped around someone again... I just can't keep them down, man! They have a mind of their own. But really, who would want to control their legs when they always manage to wrap themselves around beautiful people? Not I, said the fly... And yes, that's my new party sign.

This first night finally came to a close at 5 a.m. Oh you've gotta love Vegas! This pic is of me attempting to sleep whilst being harassed by my roommates! I think I somehow got all tangled up in my sheets?!Sun morning we went to brunch at the Bellagio where I actually tried to catch a few winks while leaning up against the wall in line! Didn't work so well. The big meal was good though and we tried every dessert they had to offer. We almost got in a fight with the asshole couple sitting at the table behind us but Lisa was awesome and stared them down;) Way to go MILF!

My mom and Jim were staying at the Luxor to run the marathon. After breakfast we headed over to see them... not without stopping to molest the Pharaoh though. Unfortunately Noelle and I could not get far enough up his skirt to figure out what his grin was all about! Oh well...

Here's my mom and Jim... I'm so proud! They rocked that marathon... blisters and all=)

Look who we bumped into at the Luxor! No joke, we were walking toward my parent's suite and these guys come walking in the opposite direction... do you recognize them? Okay, I'll give you a hint... 70's porn stars... that's right! Mike and Greg! Had to stop and introduce them to mom and dad and let them chat about how much better Steamboat is than SLC. Whatever! It was an awesome coincidence! By the way... Happy Belated Birthday Greg!!

I thought this was a fun pic... And Erica would kill me if I didn't throw it in at this juncture. Sorry, one of those "you had to be there moments"... I promise I won't have any more!

Somehow Mom and Jim lucked out and were upgraded to one of the suites on the top floor... Aren't we a sassy bunch!

I told you she was a good snuggler!

The girls all gussied up to see "O" at the Bellagio. By far the most amazing show! Not that I've seen a lot, but it was dark, sensual, wet... did I mention we had front row seats? Wow!

Our homage to Ocean's 11...

No trip to Vegas is complete without a little room service in bed! The Westin's french fries were divine...

As was the chicken noodle soup! We tried to have the bartender, Joe, deliver it to our room (for Erica's sake) but were told that he didn't "do deliveries"...oh well... some other time;)

There goes Vegas... a little blurry, 500 mph, but fabulous, bright, and colorful nonetheless. Thanks to Erica, Noelle, Rose, Odum, Lisa, and Holly for making it such a wonderful trip! And to our new friends Mike, Greg, Mark, Andy, and Dave for adding to our experience! We'll take each of you home with us in one way or another:)

Til next time...

THE END